Watching the US Supreme Court nomination hearings this week of Judge Katanji Brown Jackson has been both inspirational and emotional. She gives hope to all women, young people, and anyone who has dreams for a better more egalitarian world.
Reading today that Ginni Thomas, wife of sitting Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas tried in December 2020 to influence the overthrow of US elections made me sick to my stomach. What the heck!
Every day is a new beginning.
My personal takeaway this week is what an anonymous passerby whispered to Katanji Brown as a young, confused Harvard student, “persevere.” I’m so glad Judge Brown did.
Two years ago we adopted Stela, a blind pug. I had never been around a pug and had a lot to learn about their quirky nature. One skill she has is to be asleep on the couch, snoring loudly and on her feet a moment later when someone says one of the magic words, outside, potty, snacks, or walk. She’s a zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye kind of gal. Sometimes life is like that too.
Stela loves her pillow.
Last weekend I was blissfully returning from kayaking on Lake Bacalar, Mexico,where we live. I was anticipating the week leading up to my seventieth birthday, and in one misstep, I was sailing off the dock, landing on a pile of rocks, and screaming for my life. No bones were broken but doctor’s orders has me off my feet for 2-4 weeks. Zero to a hundred, but not in a good way.
I fell to the left of the kayak.
On Tuesday, our housekeeper of six years announced that she is pregnant with baby number five and could no longer work for us. While we completely understand it is the loss of a relationship that we were totally unprepared for. As much as I think that the people who work for us are not friends, the flood of tears said something different.
The husband of a friend and former neighbor from Texas lost his battle with cancer on top of the loss of our dear friend Suze the week before (Death Knocks) also to cancer.
On Sunday Lisa went to a celebration of life for her dear poker buddy Steve who died suddenly from Hepatitis C two years ago. He was a good guy.
Steve, Lisa’s Bacalar poker buddy and our friend.
I guess the only way we can be prepared for loss is to live every day fully. Many people don’t make it to seventy. I have a feeling that sadness and gratitude are a part of the aging process no one much talks about. I think fondly of Delmy, Troy, Suze and Steve as I grieve their loss. As for me, I think youth is vastly overrated. My bruised body will heal. None of us will ever be younger than we are right this minute, so enjoy today, live life to the fullest and above all be grateful.
DOS TORTAS
AFTER YOU DIE Just so you know after you die I will not wonder why you didn’t do your dishes or how long it’s been since you cleaned your oven or microwave or mopped your floors or why there were dust bunnies under the bed and behind the door
After you’re gone I will not wonder how you could have allowed the piles of old mail to accumulate or why you saved so many bits and pieces of this and that or why you weren’t more goal-oriented and well-organized or why your refrigerator contained so many expired condiments
When you are absent from all your familiar places I vow to avoid wondering why you didn’t eat less and exercise more or why you waited so long to stop smoking or drinking or whatever else was simultaneously soothing and deadly or why you took whatever risk may seem to have hastened your exit or why you left so much unsaid unfinished or unresolved
I will only wonder if you knew how much you mattered to me just as you are as you were when we met in our temporary human disguises and laughed in the dressing room of the world at how funkily our skin suits fit at times
I will wonder and hope you knew you were beloved
I will wonder when we last hugged and whether you felt how our heartbeats converged and our bellies bumped like boats and then we both sighed
Yesterday I was determined to pull my kayak out of the laguna myself. I had been out for a tootle around the neighborhood and was heading in for an anticipated massage, I was having an internal conversation completely ignoring the Four Pillars and acting the fool. “Asking for help” seems to be the one I ignore and has the greatest consequences of late.
A lovely morning to go kayaking.
I lost my balance playing tug-a-war with the kayak and fell off of the meter high dock into a couple of inches of water and a lot of rocks. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me screaming from wherever you are. I am bruised and a bit swollen. We’ll head to get an X-ray tomorrow just to be sure. Fingers crossed I didn’t break a bone. It’s not how I planned to spend my birthday that’s for sure.
About ten minutes before my accident.
I know it is said that an accident is an accident but my own stubbornness contributed. Nothing like learning the hard way.
DOS TORTAS
Addendum: No broken bones. Two weeks of rest, then I can start back swimming. I believe my trips to the gym have really helped. At least if you’ve got to hop around on one leg, it had better be strong.
Somewhere I read once about a woman who had no mirrors in her house. She felt like spending time looking at ourselves was especially hard on women who are pressured to look beautiful, young, thin, etc. I thought it would be a good idea when we built our house in the Mexican jungle, until my wife put the kibash on that idea. Sigh.
We have a mirror in each bathroom. They only reveal our upper torso. You can imagine my shock when going to the gym and seeing myself in a large floor to ceiling. My self image was completely shattered.
My gym outfit.
Looking down I look pretty damn good for almost 70. I’ve lost fifteen pounds (6.8k) since November. I’ve been working out at the gym and in less than two months I can already see definition in my arms. I got my bloodwork back today and I lowered my LDL cholesterol (the bad kind) by 45 points into the normal range. I raised my HDL by 20. My doctor is very pleased. I am thrilled.
While I’m never going to look like the sweet young things in the gym, I am having a wonderful time and I feel great. As long as I remember not to look in the mirror.
I read on CNN that Hillary Clinton had co-written a mystery book with a famous Canadian author I had never heard of, Louise Penny. Hillary’s book got mixed reviews, but the first of many books by Ms. Penny was exalted.
I have taken to audiobooks to encourage me to spend more time in the kitchen cooking, baking and cleaning up. With my chief dish washer still in Texas for a few more weeks, I need all the encouragement I can get. Cleaning up is not my forte.
I have not finished Still Life, but I’m enjoying it immensely. A few days ago, the main protagonists said something I had to replay several times. It was one of those lessons I needed to hear.
Of these four noteworthy statements, “I need help” seems to be the most difficult for me, followed in close second by, “I don’t know”. I freely admit that if we know everything, we learn nothing. I grew up in the time of women’s liberation and as a lesbian, asking for help, especially from men, was frowned upon.
Since taking note of this foible of mine, I have caught myself several times saying, “yes” to offers of help. The roof did not cave in, no one thought me less capable and I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out something that was outside my realm of expertise. It also felt good to be vulnerable.
So which is your Achilles’ heel? They’re pretty easy to remember,
A friend recently commented on Facebook about muddling through in 2022. I had to give it a think and decided, “no muddling for me.”
I want to live a happy life. There’s something about getting older, I’m less willing to put up with bullshit, I mean muddling. I want clear communication, peace and connection. None of these things comes easily or naturally to me. But I’m willing and continually work at it.
This sweet video is an absolute inspiration. Maybe you’ll find something in it for you too. Enjoy and Happy Holidays.
Three new apartments across from us. They’ve been sitting empty and unfinished for a year.
We bought our property in 2012 in Bacalar, Mexico. The town is situated on a pristine lake, the second largest in Mexico. At that time the village of Bacalar was small and not particularly memorable. I always thought that if not for the Laguna, no one would give Bacalar a second glance.
A new Private Property sign and fence near our house. The jungle has been cleared by two men and a machete.
During the Covid shutdown, construction was booming in Bacalar. There are new hotels on every corner, sometimes two. The president of Mexico is pushing the Mayan Train project, a tourist train that will connect the major cities and ancient pyramids of the Yucatán. We’re talking 8,000 additional visitors a day. Those tourist dollars and jobs are hard to pass up.
A hotel has blocked our street. We can no longer walk the dogs along the lovely Laguna coast road.
One of the reasons that Bacalar has been so attractive to foreign residents is the lack of US tourists. A four hour drive from Cancun keeps people with a week vacation in the all-inclusives in Cancun, Playa del Carmen and Tulum. The addition of a fast train will change all that.
Tourists will be funneled to many of the quiet Mayan villages.
Not only will the construction of the train tear up the jungle but it will overcrowd the ancient sites of Palenque and Calakmul. Bacalar may be building hotels like crazy but the rest of the infrastructure is sorely lacking. More tourists means more boats which means more pollution in the water. Seasonal floods are already washing pesticides and fertilizers into the Laguna. The striking blue colors near our house are slowly dying.
Crystalline water that is threatened by development. (2012)
What does the future hold for Bacalar and Dos Tortas? We talk all the time about what will be our Plan B. For now we stay put. If and when the train goes through, we will have to make a decision. Stay tuned.
Austin Texas aka the allergy capital of the world has cedar fever. Ask anyone who is afflicted. You’d better book with your allergists a year in advance. Burning eyes, drippy noses and yes, sometimes fever make winter a time to be dreaded in Central Texas. Also it is intermittent. One year I’d feel smug as everyone else suffered and the next year I’d want to do myself in.
If you’ve ever heard the saying, “wherever you go, there you are,” well this moment I’m in Bacalar and the sugar cane is in full bloom. I thought I had escaped allergy season in Texas. Not so fast.
This week, on our way to Chetumal, the fluffy sugar cane flowers were waving in the wind. Sugar cane pollen is a known allergen causing runny noses and all the other symptoms I’ve been experiencing this week. If there’s anything in the air to be allergic to, it finds its way up my nose.
Certainly one option.
So I’m feeling a bit under the weather and trying to stay rested. One suggestion is to stay indoors as much as possible. For one, I practically live outdoors as our house is very open to the elements and second, my dogs just don’t cooperate. Maybe I’ll start wearing a mask!
I left Austin via magic carpet this past Wednesday on the first flight out scheduled for 8:30 am departure. I had a rental car to gas up and return. International flights require arriving at the airport three hours ahead of time. My sleep was restless so I got up and was at the airport waaaaay too early. Oh well.
I arrived to a rainy Cancun which made locating the car a bit of a challenge. Our house sitter had left it for me ten days prior. I prayed it would start, and it did! Much gratitude.
There was bumper to bumper traffic leaving the airport and construction along the Playa del Carmen highway. My gas tank was getting low and I planned to stop on my way out of Tulum. Way too many travelers had the same idea. There were long lines at the gas pumps so I crossed my fingers and kept going. True to the season I hit a thunder storm which slowed my progress. By the time I made it to the next gas station, I was feeling nervous and coming up with contingency plans.
I made it home to Bacalar safely and spent the first few days putting out fires. One of them was no internet and thus the tardiness of the blog. I’m sitting here watching large, fat, black squirrels prance on our coconut palms. Their antics make me laugh, breathe, and relax. It’s good to laugh. Welcome home.
the adventures of dos tortas 
Share Your Thoughts