Watching the US Supreme Court nomination hearings this week of Judge Katanji Brown Jackson has been both inspirational and emotional. She gives hope to all women, young people, and anyone who has dreams for a better more egalitarian world.
Reading today that Ginni Thomas, wife of sitting Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas tried in December 2020 to influence the overthrow of US elections made me sick to my stomach. What the heck!
Every day is a new beginning.
My personal takeaway this week is what an anonymous passerby whispered to Katanji Brown as a young, confused Harvard student, “persevere.” I’m so glad Judge Brown did.
As we plan our upcoming July trip to the US to attend to some long overdue medical issues, I find myself awash in fear and sadness. The reports of surging Covid leave me wanting to chuck it all and pull the covers over my head.
I found this timely reminder on Facebook this morning…
In times of trouble, carry on small steps. Do what you have to do, but a little at a time. Don’t think about the future, not even about what could happen tomorrow. Wash the dishes. Remove the dust. Write a letter. Make some soup. Do you see that? You are moving forward step by step. Take a step and stop. Get some rest. Compliment yourself. Take another step. Then another one. You won’t notice, but your steps will get bigger and bigger. Time will come when you can think about the future without crying. ❤️
(Elena Mikhalkova, ′′ The Room of Ancient Keys ′′)
We have arranged house sitters and bought airplane tickets. I am working on transportation and housing. One step, one day, one action at a time.
We learned this week of another dear friend whom we saw and hung out with in Austin pre-Covid, is in hospice. She has a neurological illness that the doctors can’t figure out. She was next on my list of friends to ask for space in her spare bedroom. Some days there just are no words.
On Wednesdays I make myself go to my drawing group. It is a brief foray out of the house, that provides social interaction and a break from the sadness. Plus I get to draw naked people! I can see the improvement in my drawing. It’s the little things, the small steps.
Lisa got her second shot. We are now both fully vaccinated. Another step.
Brave by Sara Bareilles is my new theme song. Today’s blog is me being brave, refusing to push down my tears and sadness. One thing Covid has done is bring to light people’s mental health struggles. How could we NOT be sad. I would love to hear from you. We will sit and hold hands together. Small steps.
My grandmother died a few months before her 95 birthday. I remember coming home from somewhere to my husband and youngest in arms waiting at the door. Before my foot crossed the threshold, my baby blurted out, “great Nan died”.
So many old photos with no dates.
Nan had been sitting on the bed with my mother helping to dress for the day, when her heart just gave out. I would say that it wasn’t a bad way to go, except Nan was mostly deaf and totally ornery. As her 24/7 caregiver, I’m sure that my mother had mixed feelings though she’d never admit it. She adored her mother and repeated frequently how she could never make rice pudding nor potato salad as good as Nan’s.
My mother in the front with her siblings and mother.
I was named for my grandmother which didn’t keep our personalities from clashing on more than one occasion. She once prevented my six year old daughter from joining her grandparents for weekday mass because, “you can’t go to church dressed like that.” I had been looking forward to a quiet hour sans daughter. I got mad and told my grandmother to mind her own business. Not my finest hour.
My mother to the left of center. Nan also lost a child to whooping cough and another died at birth.
This Mother’s Day I am thinking of her. She was a single mother during the Depression, working as an operator for Bell Telephone and just about any job she could find, to provide for her family. She loved to drive and frequently flirted with truck drivers by honking and waving. She always had a lifesaver or some other sweet in her purse to delight a grandchild. Nan thought nothing of inspecting me and my four siblings for dirty ears and sending us off to the bathroom if we didn’t meet her standards.
Left bottom was her 81 birthday. She wore a wig because of her thinning pate.
Today her twelve grandchildren (actually there’s two more, but that’s another story)have managed to produce twenty-six grandchildren, and forty-seven greats, as far as we know. Her Irish Catholic blood is passed down from a line of strong women. Her own mother Anna outlived three husbands and was married mother and widowed in one year.
Happy Mother’s Day out there, today and every day, however you mother, whoever you mother, and whatever you mother.
Dear Followers, Friends and Family, this will be my last blog post. I have been toying with the idea of discontinuing DOS TORTAS for sometime and the decision is final. With over six years, 310 posts, 5,848 views from all over the world, 195 likes, and 341 followers, it’s been a wonderful experience and a lot of fun. I’ve grown as a writer and pushed myself in ways that I wouldn’t otherwise have grown. I remember being thrilled at having 100 followers, woohoo!
Our original route from Austin to Bacalar September 2013
There are so many blogs about moving, traveling and living in Mexico. I have veered off topic quite a bit lately which is death for a blogger. Any “how to” guide will tell you to be narrow in topic and write to a specific audience. I’m afraid that ship has sailed.
A few things we have learned on this great adventure:
Living in Mexico is not easy. There is a gaping cultural divide. It is not insurmountable but there is a price.
Living in a gated expatriate community is not living in Mexico.
If you don’t speak Spanish you better have money to pay someone to help navigate a system that is frustrating and complicated at best and incomprehensible at worst – renting, construction/renovation, banking, immigration, shopping, medical, veterinary, etc. etc.
Air travel back and forth from Mexico to wherever has only gotten more problematic. The easy travel that we imagined no longer exists. Missed connections, flight delays due to bad weather, the cost of rescheduling tickets and the unexpected need for a hotel room adds up. Not to mention the inconvenience of lost passports, credit cards and other identification.
Be fearless no matter where life takes you. It’s so much better than the alternative.
My hard won permanent residency card.
None of this is said to discourage anyone. We love it here in Bacalar and have no regrets or plans to return to the US. Even at 55 and 66 we talk more frequently about aging in place. Illness and disability are probably the main reasons foreigners pack it in and head “home”. Life can turn on a dime. It’s good to have a plan B.
Lisa’s mother’s tumble which resulted in multiple broken bones, surgery and physical therapy.
I would still love to hear from you with questions or comments. I will continue on Instagram at dos_tortas. With much gratitude, blessings and peace.
When an animal is choking, there’s no time to think, you must react. And you better do it quickly. This week my friend pointed at Frida, there was something wrong. Camila doesn’t speak English and the word for choking wasn’t high on my vocabulary list. Frida was pawing at her face and making a gagging sound. She was spinning and pawing and stupid me, I thought she was sick.
Still the preferred nap location.
Camila then said juguete, which is the word for toy and I realized that my pup had swallowed something and was choking. I grabbed her by the hips (the dog, not Camila) and hung her upside down. The four inch dog chew was barely protruding from the back of her throat and I was just able to get a hold of it and pull. Getting it wedged in there took some doing on the dog’s part. OMG.
As with all near calamities, the impact didn’t hit me until after it was over. I think this dog has a death wish. I once performed the Heimlich maneuver on a co-worker and watched a piece of carrot fly out of her mouth. She claims I saved her life. Maybe I did.
One of many sleep positions.
After all, I was a Girl Scout and have taken a few Red Cross classes, but never for a dog. Fortunately gravity did its part. A doggy ER is not down the street as it was in Austin.
Life has been pretty mundane lately and I have been at a loss as to a subject for the blog. I’m just glad it worked out, as this little beat up street dog who was given a 50/50 chance of surviving, has wormed her way into our hearts. I think I’ll be checking out doggie first aid on YouTube and Pinterest. It never hurts to be prepared, especially with a dog like Frida.
Making the decision to move to Mexico required many considerations. One of them was Lisa’s mom, Alice. Lisa left her California home at nineteen and only returned for the occasional family visit. Alice made a few forays to Texas but their relationship was not close. What to do?
Lisa and Alice. They’re relationship has blossomed.
Alice was feeling increasingly isolated and her capacity for self care seemed to be diminishing. We felt like she would have a more vibrant and varied life with us and decided to invite her to live in Bacalar. After a rocky adjustment, life has settled into a new normal. I decided to ask her a few questions about her decision to move with us. It was a fun chance to connect and get to know her a little better.
Alice’s 300 sq foot house on our property.
What made you decide to move to Mexico? – First and foremost to be near my daughter. I never really liked Bakersfield and I was ready for a change. My siblings all have their families and I was ready to do something different.
A secure front door, media room and tiny kitchen.
How has Mexico surprised you? – I had visions of donkeys and huts. People are poor but they work hard. I am always amazed how kind they are. I like that people are not stressed. It’s such a peaceful environment.
A porch makes the house feel spacious and comfortable.
What do you like here? – I love my house. I also get to see things I’ve never seen before like pyramids, villages, churches and markets. I would like to do more traveling.
One of the few tubs in Bacalar, a colorful bathroom and cozy bedroom. A design all her own.
What do you miss? – I really miss driving. (we both laughed, as her driving was a problem in CA) I miss going out at night. Sometimes Bacalar is a little too sleepy for me. Truthfully I don’t miss much. I’m really happy here.
Saving a visitor stuck in the fence and corralled by the dogs.
We talked awhile and agreed that it’s hard to connect with other foreigners here. People live their busy lives in Mexico much like the US. The responsibility is ours to reach out. It’s not easy but very worth it.
The Tortas are on vacation, I know, maybe it’s better to say, the Tortas are NOT in Bacalar for the month of April. We are visiting family and friends in Austin, Texas. As a result, there will be an nominal effort at keeping up the blog.
Grabbing a selfie with our good friend Roberta at our favorite breakfast spot, Kirby Lane.
A respite to contemplate and relax.
Since arriving, I have been in a state of anxiety at landing in a big city and driving around at a gazillion miles an hour. People don’t make eye contact and are focused on their devices or wherever they are headed. Having lived here forty years, everything feels familiar but foreign at the same time.
Texas Bluebonnets
Today I went for a walk on one of Austin’s many lovely green belts. It was just what I needed! There was cool air, fresh fragrances and lots of friendly dogs and their walkers to greet. In Bacalar, we live outdoors so much, that we feel claustrophobic in the US. Note to self, get outside and connect with nature IMMEDIATELY upon arrival NOTB (north of the border).
Prickly pear cactus blooming.
A trail to explore.
We’re off on an electronics-free weekend camping trip with kids and grands to the Texas Coast. Hopefully I will have some pictures for next week. Until then, if you want to reach us, please use email or FB Messenger and do get out for a walk, wherever you live.
We weren’t big celebrators of Christmas and New Year’s before we immigrated to Mexico. Holiday gatherings had included fewer gifts, less decorations and more food, friends, and family. In fact, Mexico was a needed escape from thle frenzy, traffic and non-stop Christmas music. Can I get an amen?!
We spent today, New Year’s Day with friends on a great boat ride. We had so much fun that we didn’t take many pictures. Muchas gracias to our amiga Harper for sharing hers.
Friends Barbara and Jean who wanted a boat ride.
Lisa wishing everyone a Happy New Year.
Luna gets in on the fun.
Wishing you all peace in 2017 from our house to yours. Remember to have fun and learn stuff. DOS TORTAS
Visiting friends, children and grandchildren in the States is a bittersweet part of retirement life in Mexico. Please enjoy a few pictures while I head out this morning to car shop with my daughter and her husband during my vacation to Northern California.
Taking selfies with dear friends.
Riding in the back seat with Maxwell.
A fun time taking pictures at the pumpkin patch.
The children’s museum.
Max is a great one handed walker who took seven steps to Grandma Lisa on Skype last night. Lisa is holding down the fort in Bacalar. We have a new fence going up while I’m gone.
A grainy photo of the new privacy fence between us and the neighbors.
In an effort to settle the ongoing conflict with our neighbors, we have put up a fence to keep Luna in and curious eyes out. We now have a small stretch of privacy fence that will have a planter with lovely vines along it. (See Standoff With The Neighbors-How It’s Done In Mexico)
The Virgin of Guadalupe (Mary, Mother of Jesus) is the most revered and familiar image in Mexico. She may be single-handedly responsible for the conversion of Mexico to Catholicism. Devotion to Guadalupe is widespread and overshadows all other saints and even Jesus. So how did she come to grace the walls of our home? (House Full Of Goddesses)
Brought with us from Texas, this statue replaced a gift from my mother that was stolen out of our yard on Mother’s Day, no lie. The grotto is at the head of the stairs to our front entrance.
As my interest in the sacred feminine unfolded in the nineties, it was not a stretch to see Mary as the modern-day Goddess. My Catholic roots played a significant influence and somehow (to my mother’s delight) this wayward church going girl began acquiring images of the Virgin of Guadalupe.
My sister-in-law, hearing of the theft of our statue, sent this Guadalupe. She has her own niche in our living room. Hindu goddess touch mine.
Things snowballed from there and Guadalupe moved in.
I found this print at a thrift store in Texas. She graces our bedroom.
Painted by my friend Cat Thompson and badly needing a frame.
There are numerous smaller images throughout the house, each with its own story. The most spectacular is the carved, wooden relief that we found in a bazaar in Villadolid during our travels prior to the completion of the house. (Show And Tell Art Purchases)
All the seller could tell us was that the piece had hung in his home many years and was carved by a man from northern Yucatan.
She was purchased without thought as to where she would hang or if the colors would match, etc. It was purely a gut, “gotta have it” response. The carving was wrapped in newspaper and cardboard and stored until the house was complete.
She clearly needed a place of prominence.
When we brought the relief out of storage and placed her on the wall, it was an emotional moment. It appeared as if the room were designed for her by her. I believe Spirit moves in many ways. Our home is holy ground on the shore of a sacred lake. We are so blessed. DOS TORTAS
the adventures of dos tortas 
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