If you want to be an honorary Torta, I suggest looking at your response to fear. Miedo is a funny thing. Our parents used it to control us when we were pequeños. It kept us from crossing a busy street or talking to a stranger when we were six years old. But for many people, long after our parents’ voices are gone, fear rules our lives. When I tell people that we are moving to Mexico, the inevitable first pregunta es, “aren’t you afraid?”. I find it difficult not to say something snarky about the fear of movie theaters in Colorado or shopping malls in Arizona.
Am I ever afraid? Of course, but it’s what I strive to DO in the face of uncertainty that allows me to move forward. First, I’ve made a choice NOT to be afraid, about anything. On Friday I rode my scooter to work not realizing we were supposed to get a storm that dumped two inches of rain on Austin streets. When I checked radar saying that it wasn’t a brief shower, I got off work early to beat the Friday afternoon, holiday traffic. I took my time riding home in a monsoon-like downpour. Las calles were flooding and I felt myself getting tense. But when I became aware of my body’s response, I took some breaths, relaxed my shoulders and said, “no fear, you’ll be fine”. Surprisingly I let go and enjoyed la lluvia bonita while choosing less traveled streets and arriving home safely.
Not being afraid is about confronting the lies I tell myself in my head. “You’re going to die.” Is it true? Yes, but not today if I can help it. I make different choices, take calculated risks, relax, have fun, and learn lessons.
When exploring moving to Mexico, I researched the risk of violence and found that Mexico is actually a very safe country. While the drug violence makes the news, it exists primarily in the border area and rarely involves gringos. Mexico is a large country, three times the size of Texas. It has a very diverse environment, big cities, mountains, high desert, and tropical jungles. There is a rich history of ancient civilizations and invasions from Spain, France, and the US. Today it has a public transportation infrastructure that allows easy access to all corners and travelers from Canada, Europe, Russia etc. flock to the beaches, pyramids, museums, mercados and night life.
My grip on Austin is lessening, yet I haven’t quite grabbed on to Mexico. I am somewhere in that middle place of uncertainty, not here and not yet there.
Sometimes taking flight takes letting go.
Letting go takes faith.
Faith takes letting go.
It all requires wings.
And so it goes. Patti Digh “Life Is A Verb”
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao-tsu
Enjoying a perfect day on Lake Bacalar.
Sunset
the adventures of dos tortas 
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