Tag Archives: lesbians living in mexico

Adiós Amigos/as

4 Nov

Dear Followers, Friends and Family, this will be my last blog post. I have been toying with the idea of discontinuing DOS TORTAS for sometime and the decision is final. With over six years, 310 posts, 5,848 views from all over the world, 195 likes, and 341 followers, it’s been a wonderful experience and a lot of fun. I’ve grown as a writer and pushed myself in ways that I wouldn’t otherwise have grown. I remember being thrilled at having 100 followers, woohoo!

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Our original route from Austin to Bacalar September 2013

There are so many blogs about moving, traveling and living in Mexico. I have veered off topic quite a bit lately which is death for a blogger. Any “how to” guide will tell you to be narrow in topic and write to a specific audience. I’m afraid that ship has sailed. 

A few things we have learned on this great adventure:

  • Living in Mexico is not easy. There is a gaping cultural divide. It is not insurmountable but there is a price. 
  • Living in a gated expatriate community is not living in Mexico. 
  • If you don’t speak Spanish you better have money to pay someone to help navigate a system that is frustrating and complicated at best and incomprehensible at worst – renting, construction/renovation, banking, immigration, shopping, medical, veterinary, etc. etc. 
  • Air travel back and forth from Mexico to wherever has only gotten more problematic. The easy travel that we imagined no longer exists. Missed connections, flight delays due to bad weather, the cost of rescheduling tickets and the unexpected need for a hotel room adds up. Not to mention the inconvenience of lost passports, credit cards and other identification. 
  • Be fearless no matter where life takes you. It’s so much better than the alternative.
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My hard won permanent residency card.

None of this is said to discourage anyone. We love it here in Bacalar and have no regrets or plans to return to the US. Even at 55 and 66 we talk more frequently about aging in place. Illness and disability are probably the main reasons foreigners pack it in and head “home”. Life can turn on a dime. It’s good to have a plan B.

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Lisa’s mother’s tumble which resulted in multiple broken bones, surgery and physical therapy.

I would still love to hear from you with questions or comments. I will continue on Instagram at dos_tortas.  With much gratitude, blessings and peace. 

DOS TORTAS

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Acts Of Kindness

28 Oct

Today is my last day in California. I feel like I helped get these babies off to a good start, which was my goal. My son-in-law is having back surgery next month and my daughter is healing from PPCM, postpartum cardiomyopathy. They have additional family members coming after we leave. Send prayers.

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Dad with the girls, Analise and Sara.

What an exhausting and rewarding experience. I am a bit at a loss for words. It’s time to get home to Bacalar. Lisa’s immigration is due and I am off to paint again for a week in Oaxaca, a commitment I wish I hadn’t made. 

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Doctor Max

This morning I went to church and found myself in tears thinking of the families in Pittsburgh who were themselves sitting in prayer unprepared for someone to attack their synagogue.

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Our bundles of joy.

And then there was the news story of an 18 year old who drove three and a half hours one way to deliver a favorite pizza to a man in hospice dying of cancer. Acts of kindness are all we really have. Be generous and compassionate, especially to people who are different from you.  

DOS TORTAS

 

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Finding Inspiration

14 Oct

We are nearing the end of our stay in California. Two weeks to go and it’s homeward bound for Mexico. It’s been fun watching the twins grow and hang out with our grandson. 

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Sara and Analise turn three months.

This week I thought I’d share what’s on my night table. There isn’t a lot of time for reading on grandma duty and yet somehow I’m in the middle of three books. Time to get cracking or I’ll be filling my suitcase with books. NOT!

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My daughter’s book collection.

I’m on the third read of a little yet powerful book, FALLING UPWARD, A Spirituality For the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr. It was recommended by a friend who’s opinion and spiritual path I value and it has impacted my life significantly. Spirituality and aging, presented in a thoughtful and personal way. The bottom line, “it’s all about love.”

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THE BOOK OF JOY with Douglas Abrams is our read aloud book before bed. Lisa and I usually select fiction to send us off into dreamland. The teaching and antics of the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu make us laugh out loud as well as inspire our lives. Being happy in the face of daily life, is it possible? These two amazing leaders walk the talk and shine a light on the path.

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And yes, I’m reading three books at the same time, THE BOYS IN THE BOAT, Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics by Daniel James Brown.

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I guess the pattern here is pretty clear, inspiration. It would be so easy to be cynical rather than grateful in today’s world. What’s on your reading list? Comment, share, subscribe. Visit dos_tortas on Instagram for more…

DOS TORTAS 

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We All Make Mistakes

7 Oct

This week has been crazy on so many levels. While traveling back to California, I missed my flight out of Mexico City. It was totally my fault, but nonetheless caused a domino affect of long waits, additional expenses and cancelled debit card. While I ultimately reached my destination it wasn’t without the onset of a head cold that has me off limits to my granddaughters. The need for lots of rest is not necessarily a bad thing.

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Leaving Chetumal at dawn. Adiós Mexico for another month.

Sitting in bed has me doing the most unproductive behavior possible, watching the news, specifically the Kavanaugh debacle. A positive outcome, and I hope there are many, is that women are remembering long dismissed experiences and talking about them. I know I am. I’d like to share an incident where I spoke up and the resulting, appalling reactions of my community.

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Mexico City airport sculpture exhibit helps pass the time. Metamorphosis – Between Heaven and Earth.

In March 2017 I sent an email to our local list-serve reporting an incident with a very popular dentist in the Bacalar expatriate community. He speaks English and was recommended when we first moved to Mexico. You know how it is, you move to a new place and ask around for a dentist. Dr. M was the one. Then he tried to kiss Lisa.

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My favorite piece.

It was so easy to think she misread cues. After all everyone kisses everyone in Mexico. However, this was NOT the case. When we discovered two other women, friends of ours, who had the same experience, it was time to warn people. I did not expect the response I got.

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The emails that ensued made my head spin. People came to his defense. They accused me of reporting hearsay. They recounted all the years they had gone to him and he didn’t try to kiss THEM. I finally sent out the following email:

Dear Friends,

Because it didn’t happen to YOU doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Because it is reported anonymously doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. When it happens to YOU and you speak up and others come forward, you don’t get to say, why didn’t you say something sooner? The responses to my email is exactly why women don’t share. We are questioned and doubted. Most of us have been groped, forced, touched without permission, and some assaulted. If it’s happened to one, it’s happened to others. This was presented as information and a warning. Please consider this discussion closed unless you know how we can report it officially. Alex

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I love the morning visit with the dogs to our dock.

I cannot imagine what Christine Blasey Ford is going through. I doubt my blog will change anyone’s mind. Yesterday I watched several of his female judicial clerks describe Judge Kavanaugh in glowing terms. No one is calling him a monster. Everyone makes mistakes. In my opinion he should not be sitting on the Supreme Court, period. Please comment, share and subscribe.

DOS TORTAS

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Permanent Residency – Finally

30 Sep

After five years of retirement in Mexico, I received my Residencia Permanente. It surprised me how emotional I felt leaving the Immigration Office clutching my newly minted green card. It not only represents the passage of time, but a personal growth that could not have been achieved any other way. 

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Gotta love the photo. They really go for the mugshot look.

I remember when when we first started the residency process I dragged tons of file folders filled with bank statements, proof of income, rental agreements, etc., to the immigration office. We were so unsure what was required. We waited hours and made numerous trips due to inexperienced staff and my less than stellar Spanish skills. Today the process is more streamlined, my Spanish has vastly improved and the agents are experienced and very helpful.

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Artist Terry Smith of Seattle, WA. From my recent trip. 

On Monday I return to California and grandma duty for another month. I am so grateful to our house sitter who is caring for the dogs and managing the house in our absence.  We couldn’t have done this without you. Share, comment, subscribe.

DOS TORTAS 

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A Time For Reflection

23 Sep

It’s Sunday (my usual day of blogging) and nothing has been posted, written or is even dancing around in my head. I am in Bacalar, Mexico to handle an immigration deadline and I will be going back to California in a week to finish the commitment to our daughter and her family. 

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Our beautiful granddaughters.

I think I really want to spend some time this week listening. Our home in Bacalar is such a place of peace and quiet. California with our twin granddaughters and two year old grandson has been a challenge to my sense of calm. I believe that peace is not a matter of circumstances but a choice. My listening is about what I need to consistently make that choice.

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A lovely little shower moving across the Laguna. Can you hear the thunder?

I know this is out of the norm for my blog. It’s where I’ve been lately and trying to decide whether or not to share it. So here goes. What do you do when you need guidance that talking and thinking does not provide?

DOS TORTAS 

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Gallery

Grocery Shopping in Mexico–a bit of a quest

22 Jul

I hope you enjoy this blog from a woman I follow in northern Mexico. I am preparing my immigration papers and leaving for California soon to be with my daughter. Pictures of the twins next week. 👶🏼👶🏼😁

Surviving Mexico

You can get groceries at a variety of stores. In fact, depending on what you need, you may need to stop at several stores to find all the items on your list.

The smallest corner store is usually called abarrotes or tiendita or miscelanea. There’s typically a small selection of necessities including soap, canned goods, and chips. Usually, there’s quite a large selection of chips and soda. Even with the sugar tax, these items remain best sellers and are what probably keep these little stores in business.

If it’s a store you frequent, you may be able to request certain items. For instance, peanut butter is available at some stores but not part of the Mexican diet. If you let the store owner know you’ll be buying it regularly, it just might appear on the shelves.

The next size up is the mini-super. There’s a little more selection…

View original post 862 more words

Seeing With Different Eyes

15 Jul

When we first moved to Bacalar in 2013, everything was new and exciting and a bit unsettling (Can We Go Home Now?). I remember driving under the “Bienvenidos a Bacalar” sign after a five-day drive from Texas. We pulled a trailer with everything we owned and everything we thought we needed to start our new life in Mexico. Lisa and I were thrilled with every flower, mural and festival. In the beginning we lived in Bacalar proper, walking or riding our bikes to discover shops and people. (Explore Bacalar On Foot)

 

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New murals are popping up everywhere.

Once our house was built, the three mile ride along a busy highway to town got longer and more inconvenient. Our numerous utilitarian trips meant fewer for pleasure. Also our early to bed life means we participate very little in the day to day activities of Bacalar. (A Day In The Life)

 

This week we have Lisa’s brother and his partner visiting. We get to see our life through their eyes and fall in love with Bacalar all over again. It’s fun being tourists in our own village.

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Visiting the Cultural Museum in Chetumal.

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Learning about Mayan influence.

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From our visit to Kohunlich in February.

We have lots more activities planned for the upcoming week. There is a trip to the wonders of Kohunlich and Cenote Azul. When living in paradise, it’s good not to become jaded.

DOS TORTAS 

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This Week In Mexico

1 Jul

Calling Mexico home quickly brought us up to speed with a very important international event called the Mundial (pronounced moon dee al) or World Cup (Just Don’t Call it Soccer) which happens every four years. The US Super Bowl looks like Friday night high school football by comparison.

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Time Out sports bar, a fav spot for Mundial viewing,

Mundial 2018 is taking place as we speak in Russia, and believe me, the whole world is watching. The whole world except for the United States that for the most part does not understand nor care much about soccer. The US team did not qualify to compete in this world-wide event, eliminating whatever smidge of interest that might have existed.

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Kim, works hard to keep everyone in beer and breakfast at 9am.

Mexico won its first two matches causing explosive responses around the country. Mexico City measured the equivalent of a small earthquake with fans taking to the street in celebration. To say this is a huge deal in Mexico is an understatement. Do NOT try to get anything accomplished while Mexico is on the screen. People are huddled around their computer, tv and cell phone. Life is at a standstill.

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Even Mexican pups get in on the action.

Today Sunday is also Mexico’s presidential election. Late night comedian John Oliver recently made an attempt to explain the two main candidates. The reactionary candidate reflects all too well the current opinions of our own US politics. With Mexico as the US’s whipping boy, it is no wonder it’s citizens are fed up. Anyone who wants to “fight back” has citizen support.

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Foreigners living in Mexico are prohibited  by law from participating in political activities in any way. We keep our opinions to ourselves and our fingers crossed. Until next week…

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Rethinking Adventure

3 Jun

Life rarely turns out the way one expects. Lately, The ADVENTURES of Dos Tortas have consisted of walking the dogs, taking Lisa’s mom to physical therapy and recuperating from la gripa. 

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Alice has her cast off and is working to regain use of her hand and arm.

Our recent travels have been to visit family and the VA Clinic in Austin.
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Our youngest son showing off his new glasses.

Next week we go to Disneyland for a week with the grandchildren and in August our daughter in Northern California is expecting twins, a different kind of adventure.
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One of the first rules of blogging is to narrow your subject and STICK TO IT.  Life in Mexico is looking more like life in the airport.
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No complaining, we feel extraordinarily blessed. This week I made the mistake of noticing that the blog post Held Hostage In Mexico has had 938 views. People are suckers for sensationalism. My boring blogs have far fewer hits. So a note to you faithful readers, life is taking some twists and turns. I hope you’ll hang with me. Perhaps adventure is a bit overrated.
DOS TORTAS 
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