Tag Archives: Laguna Bacalar

Fall From Grace

8 Oct

My mother-in-law fell this week. To a degree I blame myself. Our car had been in the shop for ten days and we were beginning to run out of fresh food. Shopping list in hand, I called my taxi friend Franklin to meet us on the highway. Alice badly wanted to go and pick up some things, but mostly she was bored and wanted to get out of the house.

Christmas a few years ago.

The short walk from our house to meet the taxi required skirting puddles due to recent intermittent showers. Our road is made from layers of sascab or decomposed limestone which is slick as snot after the rain. I was doing my best to walk along the outer dry edge and expected Alice to follow me. I should have been holding onto her. Then I heard an oomph.

Falling is so hard, literally and figuratively. I should know, I’ve done it enough. My first thought was to take her home. Once on her feet, Alice vehemently declared herself to be “OK”. I knew better, but wanted to avoid an argument. She can be quiet stubborn and vocal about getting her way.

2017 Three hotties.

At the grocery store she insisted on carrying her own heavy groceries until I put my foot down. Still she insisted that she was fine. The next day told a different story.

Last April at a friend’s wedding. The many faces of Alice.

Alice didn’t break anything but there was definitely pain, bruising and regrets, both mine and hers. The end result, was an honest and vulnerable conversation about aging. Alice admitted to something we all experience, feeling younger and more capable than she is. She will be eighty in February. While some people are running marathons at eighty, Alice is not one of them. She is rather frail, as much as she prefers to believe otherwise.

We had a very honest talk. It is so easy to believe the messages that growing old equals worthlessness and being a burden. We begin to loose control as others make decisions for us, something no one likes.

Last summer’s gym rat.

Alice and I came to an agreement. When it comes to matters of health or injury, she will trust that Lisa and I have her best interest at heart. There will be no more arguments or fussing. This is a dance we all get to do. For me it’s important not to get scared but take one day at a time, keep the lines of communication open and most importantly, come from a place of love. We’ll all get through it together.

DOS TORTAS

Sisters Sisters

24 Sep

Our visit to Alaska was special in many ways. Besides the wildlife, snow topped mountains, and glaciers, there was time spent with Lisa’s Great Aunt Edna. I was a fly on the wall to witness their love and connection. It was a beautiful thing.

I only hope to age as gracefully as this dynamo.

Edna is Lisa’s great aunt, her grandmother’s youngest and only remaining sister. As Lisa was the oldest grandchild, she and her aunt share many memories that few in the family possess. Text messages passed between them every few months allowing connection as only our electronic age permits when one lives in Mexico and the other in Alaska. When Lisa declared her desire to visit her almost ninety year old aunt, I thought, “why not?” I did not expect to find the vibrant, capable and engaging woman that I did. BTW she is a big Dos Tortas fan and follower.

Did I mention that Edna was the youngest of eight sisters?

Edna and her sisters were very close. Every year they had Sister Reunion. Sometimes that meant staying in a hotel together, especially as the elders aged.

Sister reunions also included adventures.

The Sister Reunions were sacrosanct and no one was allowed entry. As the favorite granddaughter of Edith, Lisa sometimes wrangled her way in and got to know all her great aunts. Once a group of them traveled to Europe while Lisa was in the military. They toured the museums and sites, generally having the time of their lives.

During our visit, I busied myself preparing meals while Lisa and Edna culled through forty photo albums and packed up her apartment for the move to Portland, USA. Edna is leaving Alaska after sixty years for assisted living. She fell and broke her pelvis a couple of years ago. Alaskan winters are rough, dark and cold. She is ready for a change, bittersweet as it is.

I felt privileged to meet Edna and witness a reunion of a slightly different yet equally poignant kind.

DOS TORTAS

Sisters Sisters by Irving Berlin. Movie classic, White Christmas.

From Bacalar To Alaska

17 Sep

When people come to visit us in the jungle of southern Mexico I admit to being less than understanding with their inability to deal with the heat. Winter is the best time to visit Bacalar. Sometimes one even needs a light jacket or shawl! It’s really not that bad. Ha!

Now Alaska is the exact opposite, even in the late summer. Lisa’s cousin walks around the house in a t-shirt while I look like a homeless person wearing all the layers I brought with me.

The view from our bedroom window the evening we arrived.
Denali (highest peak in North America) on the right
made an appearance after a few days.
First time seeing a glacier.
The sky is magical. Cook Inlet is on the horizon.
A rugged environment for an old gold mind.
The art museum in Anchorage was amazing.

What an wild and wonderful place is Alaska. I can’t imagine living here. I guess like Bacalar, it takes acclimation. We will be home Monday after almost six weeks traveling. I miss my dogs.

DOS TORTAS

California Family

27 Aug

Off to visit our daughter and family in Northern California. Taking a bit of a break from blogging for awhile.

Grandkids starting their first day of school. How they’ve grown!
A day hanging out with my daughter. Eat, pray, get a pedicure!
The town square in Healdsburg and some art museums.
Only in California.
Some random kids enjoying the freezing Pacific Ocean
Luna and Stella enjoying time with our house sitters.

We leave Monday for Seattle, Washington. Lisa is already freezing. 😆

DOS TORTAS

Advice Taken

20 Aug

When I was about eighteen my older brother married Ronnie. She was a petite redhead with huge fiery curly hair. I loved her dearly. With four brothers, she was the big sister I never had.

In 1974 I returned to the US from a year abroad, studying Spanish in Mexico. I felt uncertain as to the direction my life should take. A teacher I admired had casually suggested I go to Austin and finish my education at the University of Texas. Not having a better idea, I applied, was accepted and got on a plane. Ah the spontaneity and optimism of youth.

University of Texas tower.

I tell the story in more detail as to how I ended up in Austin at Down To Our Skivvies

Austin in August 2023

I’m not sure what I expected in Texas, in August. It was hot as hell, like I swore you could fry eggs on the sidewalk. I was a fish out of water. I called home to the East Coast and talked to Ronnie. I was crying, homesick and wanting to throw in the towel. Nothing in Austin was familiar and I had no one to turn to. Instead of getting the sympathy I sought, I got a kick in the pants.

Ronnie told me to stay and figure it out! In a way she told me that I could do it. Her confidence in me gave ME confidence in me. And she was right.

There are so many forks in the road that can direct the rest of our lives. Staying in Austin was a big one for me. I found help, made friends, found housing, independence and a whole new life that lead to where I am today. I’m not sure I ever thanked Ronnie. She and my brother separated a few years later and I never saw her again. Hang on to people when you can. You never know when advice given or received can completely change someone’s life.

DOS TORTAS

Who Needs An Alarm When You’ve Got A Dog

13 Aug

This week Lisa and I are off on a long awaited and meticulously planned trip. She left on Thursday to travel with her mom to Cancun and on to Southern California. I am traveling through Mexico City to see my daughter in Northern California. We will meet up in a couple of weeks.

Stella supervising.

My last night in Bacalar, I tossed and turned, restlessly anticipating the morning’s departure, I finally fell into a deep sleep and had the most vivid dream. In the dream I had overslept and missed my flight entirely. In that way that dreams can be, I stumbled madly over and over with my iPad, attempting to somehow reschedule the missed flight which of course was impossible.

Ten minutes before my six a.m. alarm sounded, Luna began whining to be let out. Waking, to my relief and frustration, I had not missed the flight, but I wanted to strangle the dog. Argh.

Luna, Love her and hate her,

Wonderful house sitters are in place and I am traveling to cooler climate. And while I’ll miss them, (NOT! well maybe a little), there will be no dogs. Stay tuned.

DOS TORTAS

Success Builds Success

6 Aug

I started graduate school at the University of Texas in 1994 at age forty-two. The day was exactly twenty years after I had walked onto the UT campus for the first time to get my under graduate degree in 1974.

The famous University of Texas Tower lit up for having won a football game.

I had been a stay-at-home mom, caring for three children and helping our family survive on one income. But events changed and I needed to get back into the world. I needed a job. Computers were relatively new and I was low on confidence and unsure as to how to find my way.

Graduate school seemed like the obvious answer. I did the required prerequisite class in statistics at community college. I was the oldest class member in all situations but I persevered and grew in confidence. My brain worked just fine albeit a bit slower. I had to take the GREs (Graduate Record Examination), a standardized entrance exam in math and English. I hadn’t had algebra since high school. A prep class, a lot of studying, crossed fingers and I passed with a more than adequate score. Success breeds success!

When Lisa and I left Texas for Bacalar in 2013 we had to make a lot of decisions as to what we would keep and what items were sold or given away.

Packed

For some reason, I held onto my old graduate school term papers. Writing them had taught me so much. I learned how to do research, spending hours in library stacks. Today’s students would laugh at how things were done in the “old days”.

Dot matrix printer.
My major was Health Education.
My focus was adolescents.

These term papers were the beginning of honing my skills as a writer. Best of all were the comments from teachers. Where else does someone of import write “Well done”, appreciating the extraordinary effort of a middle-aged mom returning to academia? I have held onto these papers for almost thirty years. Time to let them go. Today I can look back and pat myself on the back and say “well done”. I no longer need confirmation from out-dated college term papers.

1996 Graduation

DOS TORTAS

Have You Always Exercised?

30 Jul

This week, in an almost empty gym, a young woman ambled up and asked me in SPANISH, “have you always exercised?” She had blond hair and a braid down her back the width of my arm. She’s Colombian and has lived in Bacalar four years. I was thrilled by her question.

Nevys

I think many of the locals that work out at the gym think that I don’t speak Spanish, which is barrier number one to conversation. Barrier number two is that I don’t socialize. I’m not chatty, I tend to focus on my work-out, nose to the grindstone. And then there’s the biggest barrier, I’m old.

71 and not getting any younger.

I have worked on overcoming these barriers, except for the old part. There’s nothing much I can do about that. Research clearly shows that a contributing factor to longevity is having close personal relationships, right up there with diet and exercise. In Mexico it is thought rude not to greet everyone with, “buenos días” upon arrival. I make a habit of looking at people and greeting them every morning. There’s been little change in camaraderie however, until this week.

15 months progress. Slow but steady.

I know I’ve talked about this topic before. It is not easy for me but I’m determined. I asked the receptionist her name and now use it when I arrive each day and this week I made a new friend. I will attempt to nourish this seedling. Wish me luck.

DOS TORTAS

Damn Butterflies

23 Jul

She lived across the street from us. Terry was born in South Austin in 1933 and bought her house when she married Bill. They raised two kids there and when we met her she was a widow living alone, her adult children were long grown. Our older tree-lined neighborhood was an Austin treasure with houses built in the early 60’s. It used to be that the only way to buy a house there was when someone died. We got our house because the previous owner moved to a nursing home.

We kept an eye on all the elders in our neighborhood. Terry’s house once flooded. She had a dry creek behind her yard that turned out not to be so dry one spring downpour. Lisa built a French drain to channel the water away from her house. That was the only time she asked for help. She was an independent old coot and we loved her.

My favorite story about Terry was her love for a pink flowering vine called Queen’s Wreath that grew on the side of her house. The butterflies also loved it and gravitated to its sweet nectar. The trouble was, when the butterflies lighted on the flowers, the petals fell off. One day I came upon Terry muttering, “damn butterflies” as she shood them off her beloved flowers.

Queen’s Wreath

A neighbor found Terry unconscious in her carport one day. Her car door was open so she was clearly about to run errands. Her head was bleeding. We never saw her again. Her children whisked her away. We didn’t have a relationship with them and we got complacent. The time for Terry to make her own decisions had run out.

Some time afterward there was a flurry of activity at her place. A couch was carried to the curb. Lisa inquired and was gifted the couch. They were emptying out her house to sell it. Terry was living with her daughter.

We knew the couch was brand new. It took days of airing and scrubbing. Terry also had a big floofy white cat. We still have the couch. As a matter of fact I’m sitting on it right now. Luna gives up her spot now and then.

We left Austin September 2013.

One day I was thinking about Terry and found her obituary. It made me sad yet brought back good memories. And whenever we find ourselves complaining about some inconsequential thing, we remember “damn butterflies” and think of Terry and smile.

DOS TORTAS

Happy Eight Luna – Mexican Rescue

9 Jul

We never know exactly when Luna’s birthday is. Friends found her under their car tied in a trash bag. She appeared to be a few months old, covered in fleas and tics. I decided that US Independence Day July 4th was as good a day as any to recognize. Happy Birthday Luna.

Left in a bag on the street covered in ticks and fleas. August 2015
She wasn’t much bigger than my sandals. Lanky legs and a puppy belly.
Luna loved the hammock now she’s afraid of it 😆
So regal.
Don’t mess with a blind pug.

Luna is a very good girl. She has a large deep voice that we didn’t expect. She acts like she’ll take your head off but is a big scaredy-cat. It’s hard to believe she’s eight years old. Happy birthday sweet Luna.

DOS TORTAS

Www.Beachdogrescue.org

Folks doing good work here. Donations welcome.
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