Archive | August, 2026

Grieving Dolly

30 Aug

I was at breakfast with my brother who was visiting Bacalar a few years ago. At my favorite morning haunt I realized that I was sitting in the exact same seat where I last sat with my friend Gabriel before his heart attack and I lost him in my life.

My eldest brother.

Overwhelmed with emotions I began to cry. My brother responded by directing me to look him in the eye and breathe.

Gabriel his last day.

I realized in that moment that Ken was trying to get me to STOP crying. I told him that I was fine with expressing my feelings and didn’t need to stop. He looked at me confused. “I cannot relate.”

Sadly, I think most men and my brother in particular spend a lifetime trying to control feelings. To a degree, so do I.

During Covid, I found myself crying for no apparent reason and it scared me. I managed to get my joy back, which brings us to today.

Covid art.

Why are we so embarrassed by tears? I’ve worked for these emotions and I embrace them.

This week Dolly Parton died. The global tributes, playing her songs and buildings all over the world lit up in pink, had me sobbing.

Empire State Building 9:25

The world lost a great woman this week. If only we could all be a little more like Dolly, sniff.

DOS TORTAS

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Old Friends And New

23 Aug

I moved to Austin in 1974 to attend the University of Texas. The world and Austin are very different places from then.

UT tower circa 1980

Lisa and I moved to Mexico in 2013 leaving it all behind for a quiet jungle life. Our children were adults with little time for us and we expected to return for holidays, birthday and visits as we desired.

Our two sons, their dad, DIL, and grandson
6×10 trailer with all our worldly possessions

Then there were the friends who promised to visit. Most never came. No matter where you live today, friendships are hard to maintain. I blame it on the internet that gives us a false sense of connection and covid that locked us in our homes for two years.

Returning to Austin this month for surgery and recovery has given me a chance to reach out to people I haven’t seen in years. The response has been heartwarming. One friend came and brought lunch. Another is driving four hours for a visit.

Then there are Dan and Lisa. We met them on our 2019 cruise through the Panama Canal. They were visiting family in Seattle last week when I casually mentioned, “you could visit.” And they came. We enjoyed a lovely two days chawing away exchanging travel stories and catching up.

My first venture out since surgery.

They also brought me a gift.

A Stella look-alike until we can return to our pup. ❤️

The bandage is completely off and I can swim in a week. I also start physical therapy on Wednesday. The healing game is on.

Most recent xray (left) and pre surgery hardware removed.

DOS TORTAS

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It’s Good To Have Goals

16 Aug

Surgery last week gave me hope that I will regain my ability to walk, hike and yes, DANCE.

Mom started me dancing at three years old. Those are spray painted  tap shoes. Somehow she always found the money.
Dancing to the radio on one of her rare visits to Austin.
Dancing with Mom at her wedding to husband number two. She hated that I wore pants.
1995 Our first Valentine’s Day. A fund raising dance for AIDS Services of Austin. Isn’t she gorgeous in that tux? Boy did I score or what!

I am a week and a half post surgery and not the most patient patient. Thursday I go to see the doctor. I am curious what’s under the bandage and what the x-ray will show.

For the moment it’s pain management and rest. Lisa takes good care of me and friends are trickling by. It’s good to have goals and mine is to DANCE.

DOS TORTAS

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Surgery US vs MX

9 Aug

This week I had the long awaited surgery to remove the hardware from my leg. It has been two years since the original accident and I had hit a wall with ongoing pain and lack of improvement to  mobility.

I am lucky to have health insurance in the US so I chose to travel here for the procedure. I am glad that I did but the difference in care was glaring.

I’ll start by saying that this was my experience and not a generalization of care in either country.

I found care in México to be more humanizing. Doctors and nurses were friendly and not always in a hurry.  They did not enter my room trailing a computer with a list of tests to perform.

The US hospital was not a place of rest or recuperation. Sensory overload, with lights turned on and off all night. Anyone that’s ever been in a US hospital expects it. “That’s the way things are”. Lots of rules, no flexibility. It felt like a manufacturing line.

I WAS sent home with a great deal of support. Home health (HH) care came by the house the following day to go over my many prescriptions and answer questions. In the hospital I had multiple people, social worker, OT, PT, nurses, physician’s assistant, giving me sometimes conflicting instructions. I’m not sure how they expect a drug addled, post op, 74 year old to keep it all straight. And yes, I’m playing the age card. Thank God for Lisa. NEVER go to the hospital alone.

This is not ALL that I’m taking.

In Mexico my surgeon came by my house. The only problem was his treatment was outdated. He wanted me to stay in bed. In the US I was walking to the bathroom immediately.

I cannot speak to all Mexican orthopedic surgeons. My suggestion is to travel to a large city with a teaching hospital, if at all possible.

Food in the US was much better. Too bad I ate none of it.

At the moment pain is manageable and I am sleeping a lot. My appetite is nonexistent I’m having to force myself to eat. HH will be here next week and I return to my surgeon in two weeks. I am pleased with how things are going and confident this surgery was the right decision for me.

I hope to be returning home to Mexico in 4-6 weeks. Fingers crossed.

DOS TORTAS

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Adiós California

2 Aug

Saying goodbye to grandchildren is always bittersweet. Promises to call more often and visit more frequently are feeble attempts to stay more connected. Every visit leaves us wanting more. We pack as much fun as possible into a few weeks.

Always time for a bit of painting.
Our grandson almost as tall as his mother (11).
Learning to sew with the girls (8).
The newest member of the family. Oliver Farkle Toth
Parking lot beauty.
My favorite part of the Aquarium is always the jelly fish. (Monterrey Aquarium)
Mesmerizing

We are traveling to Austin to be ready for the much anticipated leg surgery on Wednesday. I am not nervous, just ready to get on with recovery. We expect to be in Austin six weeks for physical therapy. I miss Bacalar and my puppers.

DOS TORTAS

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