Tag Archives: Laguna Bacalar

Do I Really Want Friends?

19 Nov

Last week we celebrated the Hindu festival of Diwali around a communal table with people we had just met. I tell myself and whoever will listen that I want more people in my life ie friends. Most of the legacy people that we met in Bacalar when we arrived ten years ago, have aged out, sold their homes and moved on. The community that we thought we were moving into, disintegrated like crumbling Mayan pyramids.

Mayan mask.

I sat at dinner last Saturday between two men. They each sat with their body turned away from me talking to the person on the opposite side. This behavior is something that I’m used to. I find that I am invisible to most men. As an old woman (71), men rarely give me the time of day. As a lesbian too, I do not flirt or dress to please. I’ve given up that game a long time ago.

My attempt at a costume for Diwali.

And then something surprising happened. Terry, to my left, began to engage with me. The man HE had been talking to was flirting with the women at the other end of the table. That left me. We talked, Mayan Train, health, family and diet. He did some mansplaining about things that I was quite knowledgeable about, so I listened.

Jey our chef extraordinaire. Me second on the right.

The evening was enjoyable, although I learned something about myself. I really don’t do well in crowds, even small ones. I disengage or talk to one person at a time. In the past, I’ve made the decision to get to know someone by really going after them, a brunch date or an invitation to our house. And like anything else, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m about 25% success rate.

Covid allowed me to be a hermit and my friendship muscles have atrophied. I have a gym acquaintance who owns a restaurant in Bacalar and who is willing to host a monthly expat gathering. I’m going to get the word out on social media. We will start in the new year. For me the personal stretch of those underutilized friendship muscles will be to show up and engage. And just maybe I will find a new friend.

DOS TORTAS

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The Celebration Of Light

11 Nov

Thanks to Bacalar local and chef extraordinaire Jey Mazumder, Lisa and I had an opportunity to celebrate the Hindu festival of Diwali and partake of an Indian feast among new friends.

A fun time was had by all.

“What is Diwali, the Festival of Lights, and how is it celebrated in India and the diaspora? Diwali is the most important festival of the year in India — and for Hindus in particular. It is celebrated across faiths by more than a billion people in the world’s most populous nation and the diaspora.” Google

Diwali is celebrated differently around the world. It usually lasts a few days and involves house cleaning, lighting candles, and the Goddess of wealth, Lakshmi. In Bacalar we celebrated by eating.

We did not win the costume contest.
The vista for our evening.

It had been raining all day and we appreciated the break to feast and dodge mosquitoes. Happy Diwali to all.

DOS TORTAS

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Going Batty In Bacalar

5 Nov

Austin, Texas USA is the home of the largest urban bat colony in the world. I’m not sure how anyone knows. Maybe the count wings and divide by two?

I have witnessed this phenomenon many times and it is truly spectacular.

When I lived in Austin in the 1970’s the free-tailed bats that migrated from Mexico in the spring to have their babies, were thought to be pests. Then someone said, “we could make money!” and they became a tourist attraction and the subject of festivals, swag and even a hockey team.

Yes, there’s a hockey team in Austin, Texas.

Bats eat three times their weight a night in mosquitoes and agricultural pests. They are also great pollinators and an essential part of the ecosystem. My dad loved bats and I was raised with a healthy respect. My mother on the other hand was over the top terrified of them .

Austin now loves all things batty.

While living in Austin we put up a bat house to invite occupancy. I never saw signs of any tenants. However, here in Bacalar, we have residents in the palapa directly outside our front door. You’d think I’d be thrilled. Mmmm not so much.

Evidence of our uninvited guests.

The bats forage at night and sleep all day. They also poop down the side of our house and on the pathway below. I tried some clever discouragement but they laughed in my face.

Wind chimes and things glittery. No deterrent.
Out little upside down tenant.

I don’t want them to leave, just live somewhere else. They seem quite intent on staying however and I think we’re going to have to make peace with it. Kind of like the rest of life don’t you think?

DOS TORTAS

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Just A Quiet Week

28 Oct

The weather has cooled off in the jungle of southern Mexico. The nights are pleasant with no need for air conditioning. We even had some rain which was sorely needed. It is the beginning of the time of year that we anticipate all summer. It reminds us why we live here in a hot, humid jungle.

Our first visit to Bacalar was in December 2012. We stood in the laguna at 12:12pm on 12-12-12 and made the decision to buy the property, upend our lives and move to a small sleepy village on the most beautiful lake in the world, Laguna Bacalar. We were so naïve.

Pictures I took on our first visit in 2012

Not in a million years could we have foreseen the changes that have come to this part of Mexico. Every time I try to take pictures of the devastation wrought by the Mayan Train (Tren Maya) I get too upset. We took a ride on Friday out to where the Bacalar station is under construction. The train will pass on the far side of the highway a few miles from our house.

Home sweet home.

Imagine 76,300 square miles (197,600 square km) of pristine jungle dissected by enormous swaths of train ways. The cost of the project is at 15 billon dollars, seventy percent over budget. Many indigenous and environmental groups have sought to halt construction to no avail. The destruction of the fragile environment, native Mayan villages and archaeological treasures is a crime.

Financed by tourist dollars I have little hope that the train will bring a better life to Yucatecans. Surely there are better ways to improve healthcare and education and provide jobs. Locals that I have spoken with have mixed feelings. They like the job opportunities but fear for the environment. As a wealthy white woman I guess I have no say and no room to complain. As a world citizen I feel helpless to stop this disaster. That horse is out of the barn.

DOS TORTAS

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If You Can’t Find It You Don’t Need It

22 Oct

Privilege afforded by gender identity, skin color, age, nationality, income, religion and a host of other things is often very hard to identify, at least for the recipient of said benefits. When society gives us an advantage that others do not have it can be quite invisible to us.

The privilege that became evident to me this week that I am without is ingredients. Many delicious plant-based recipes show up on my Instagram feed but when I look closer, I can’t get the ingredients! No vegan butter, cornstarch, molasses and a slew of other things. Yes, yes, I realize that I can fiddle and probably come up with a passable facsimile, but more and more, I roll my eyes and just give up.

The options are staggering.

I think the thing that annoys me the most is the blasé attitude of the internet chef espousing the simplicity of the recipe, as if we all had Whole Foods next store.

When we lived in Austin, there was a large high-end grocery store an easy walk away. I could be making any recipe and hop on over for a missing ingredient. No food desert in my neighborhood.

The medley of apples alone at Central Market in Austin blew my mind.

Here in the Mexican wilds we are getting a larger variety of options than were available in years gone by. What you can’t find in the supermercado can often be ordered online. I have a friend who has the right attitude, IMHO, “If you can’t find it, you don’t need it.” I think that having a simpler life is really the privilege we might all aspire to.

DOS TORTAS

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Trying To Scam The Wrong Person

15 Oct

Lisa drove this week to Cancun to pick up her aunt from the airport. As many folks do, she stopped at the large La Gas station exiting Tulum on her return to Bacalar. This particular gas station is always busy with long lines and many trucks. There isn’t another gas station for many kilometers.

Stock photo.

Lisa pulled the car in and when the tank was full, handed the attendant two 500 peso bills plus 100, about $56US. In Mexico one is not allowed to pump their own gas. I actually quite like not having to get out of the car. Her change would have been 80 pesos.

The attendant returned and claimed that Lisa only gave him one 500 peso bill. Hahaha he didn’t know it but he was trying to scam the WRONG person. Lisa immediately told him that she in fact gave him the correct amount. She called him a mentiroso liar and demanded loudly to speak with his boss.

I can only imagine the ruckus since I wasn’t along. Lisa’s Spanish pronunciation may have been a bit off, but her confidence was certain and I’m sure he knew exactly what she was saying. He quickly returned with her correct change and even had the temerity to ask for his propina tip.

It is customary to tip the attendant if they go all out, washing the windshield and checking the tire pressure. Lisa only laughed at his cajones and skeedadled.

Lisa and me in Teotihuacan 2017

I’m not saying that you won’t get scammed in your own country, but unfamiliar foreign currency and insufficient language skills can leave you vulnerable when traveling. Scammers beware however when hurricane Lisa comes to town haha.

DOS TORTAS

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Fall From Grace

8 Oct

My mother-in-law fell this week. To a degree I blame myself. Our car had been in the shop for ten days and we were beginning to run out of fresh food. Shopping list in hand, I called my taxi friend Franklin to meet us on the highway. Alice badly wanted to go and pick up some things, but mostly she was bored and wanted to get out of the house.

Christmas a few years ago.

The short walk from our house to meet the taxi required skirting puddles due to recent intermittent showers. Our road is made from layers of sascab or decomposed limestone which is slick as snot after the rain. I was doing my best to walk along the outer dry edge and expected Alice to follow me. I should have been holding onto her. Then I heard an oomph.

Falling is so hard, literally and figuratively. I should know, I’ve done it enough. My first thought was to take her home. Once on her feet, Alice vehemently declared herself to be “OK”. I knew better, but wanted to avoid an argument. She can be quiet stubborn and vocal about getting her way.

2017 Three hotties.

At the grocery store she insisted on carrying her own heavy groceries until I put my foot down. Still she insisted that she was fine. The next day told a different story.

Last April at a friend’s wedding. The many faces of Alice.

Alice didn’t break anything but there was definitely pain, bruising and regrets, both mine and hers. The end result, was an honest and vulnerable conversation about aging. Alice admitted to something we all experience, feeling younger and more capable than she is. She will be eighty in February. While some people are running marathons at eighty, Alice is not one of them. She is rather frail, as much as she prefers to believe otherwise.

We had a very honest talk. It is so easy to believe the messages that growing old equals worthlessness and being a burden. We begin to loose control as others make decisions for us, something no one likes.

Last summer’s gym rat.

Alice and I came to an agreement. When it comes to matters of health or injury, she will trust that Lisa and I have her best interest at heart. There will be no more arguments or fussing. This is a dance we all get to do. For me it’s important not to get scared but take one day at a time, keep the lines of communication open and most importantly, come from a place of love. We’ll all get through it together.

DOS TORTAS

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Sisters Sisters

24 Sep

Our visit to Alaska was special in many ways. Besides the wildlife, snow topped mountains, and glaciers, there was time spent with Lisa’s Great Aunt Edna. I was a fly on the wall to witness their love and connection. It was a beautiful thing.

I only hope to age as gracefully as this dynamo.

Edna is Lisa’s great aunt, her grandmother’s youngest and only remaining sister. As Lisa was the oldest grandchild, she and her aunt share many memories that few in the family possess. Text messages passed between them every few months allowing connection as only our electronic age permits when one lives in Mexico and the other in Alaska. When Lisa declared her desire to visit her almost ninety year old aunt, I thought, “why not?” I did not expect to find the vibrant, capable and engaging woman that I did. BTW she is a big Dos Tortas fan and follower.

Did I mention that Edna was the youngest of eight sisters?

Edna and her sisters were very close. Every year they had Sister Reunion. Sometimes that meant staying in a hotel together, especially as the elders aged.

Sister reunions also included adventures.

The Sister Reunions were sacrosanct and no one was allowed entry. As the favorite granddaughter of Edith, Lisa sometimes wrangled her way in and got to know all her great aunts. Once a group of them traveled to Europe while Lisa was in the military. They toured the museums and sites, generally having the time of their lives.

During our visit, I busied myself preparing meals while Lisa and Edna culled through forty photo albums and packed up her apartment for the move to Portland, USA. Edna is leaving Alaska after sixty years for assisted living. She fell and broke her pelvis a couple of years ago. Alaskan winters are rough, dark and cold. She is ready for a change, bittersweet as it is.

I felt privileged to meet Edna and witness a reunion of a slightly different yet equally poignant kind.

DOS TORTAS

Sisters Sisters by Irving Berlin. Movie classic, White Christmas.

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From Bacalar To Alaska

17 Sep

When people come to visit us in the jungle of southern Mexico I admit to being less than understanding with their inability to deal with the heat. Winter is the best time to visit Bacalar. Sometimes one even needs a light jacket or shawl! It’s really not that bad. Ha!

Now Alaska is the exact opposite, even in the late summer. Lisa’s cousin walks around the house in a t-shirt while I look like a homeless person wearing all the layers I brought with me.

The view from our bedroom window the evening we arrived.
Denali (highest peak in North America) on the right
made an appearance after a few days.
First time seeing a glacier.
The sky is magical. Cook Inlet is on the horizon.
A rugged environment for an old gold mind.
The art museum in Anchorage was amazing.

What an wild and wonderful place is Alaska. I can’t imagine living here. I guess like Bacalar, it takes acclimation. We will be home Monday after almost six weeks traveling. I miss my dogs.

DOS TORTAS

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California Family

27 Aug

Off to visit our daughter and family in Northern California. Taking a bit of a break from blogging for awhile.

Grandkids starting their first day of school. How they’ve grown!
A day hanging out with my daughter. Eat, pray, get a pedicure!
The town square in Healdsburg and some art museums.
Only in California.
Some random kids enjoying the freezing Pacific Ocean
Luna and Stella enjoying time with our house sitters.

We leave Monday for Seattle, Washington. Lisa is already freezing. 😆

DOS TORTAS

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Emilie Vardaman

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