Tag Archives: friendship

Old Friends And New

23 Aug

I moved to Austin in 1974 to attend the University of Texas. The world and Austin are very different places from then.

UT tower circa 1980

Lisa and I moved to Mexico in 2013 leaving it all behind for a quiet jungle life. Our children were adults with little time for us and we expected to return for holidays, birthday and visits as we desired.

Our two sons, their dad, DIL, and grandson
6×10 trailer with all our worldly possessions

Then there were the friends who promised to visit. Most never came. No matter where you live today, friendships are hard to maintain. I blame it on the internet that gives us a false sense of connection and covid that locked us in our homes for two years.

Returning to Austin this month for surgery and recovery has given me a chance to reach out to people I haven’t seen in years. The response has been heartwarming. One friend came and brought lunch. Another is driving four hours for a visit.

Then there are Dan and Lisa. We met them on our 2019 cruise through the Panama Canal. They were visiting family in Seattle last week when I casually mentioned, “you could visit.” And they came. We enjoyed a lovely two days chawing away exchanging travel stories and catching up.

My first venture out since surgery.

They also brought me a gift.

A Stella look-alike until we can return to our pup. ❤️

The bandage is completely off and I can swim in a week. I also start physical therapy on Wednesday. The healing game is on.

Most recent xray (left) and pre surgery hardware removed.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

Come In – But I Don’t Have Pants On

31 Aug

We were looking for a house sitter and found a friend. Whenever we leave our home in Mexico, we must find a house sitter, someone to care for the dogs and manage the house. Michelle was recommended after she had visited Bacalar last year. We found a real treasure.

Wannabe influencer.

We have had mixed results with previous house sitters. Walking out the door and handing the keys to the house and car to a virtual stranger is not without anxiety and consequences. We have been lucky and any damage over the last twelve years has been repairable.

Michelle added fun to anything she touched.

On several occasions we have found folks who have continued to be friends and returned to hang out on the lake and play with the dogs. But none like Michelle.

This crazy woman fit right into our quirky lives and we will miss her. We became “sisters” and Lisa’s mom became Mom to another daughter. Even the dogs have a new “Auntie Michelle.” She left on Friday with a promise to return. The house already feels empty.

Lisa’s Aunt Linda is also visiting.

Thank you Michelle for coming into our lives and being someone to talk to, a swimming companion, a dish washer, a sous chef and friend to Lisa’s mom. You have added laughter and companionship that we didn’t know we needed.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

Do I Really Want Friends?

19 Nov

Last week we celebrated the Hindu festival of Diwali around a communal table with people we had just met. I tell myself and whoever will listen that I want more people in my life ie friends. Most of the legacy people that we met in Bacalar when we arrived ten years ago, have aged out, sold their homes and moved on. The community that we thought we were moving into, disintegrated like crumbling Mayan pyramids.

Mayan mask.

I sat at dinner last Saturday between two men. They each sat with their body turned away from me talking to the person on the opposite side. This behavior is something that I’m used to. I find that I am invisible to most men. As an old woman (71), men rarely give me the time of day. As a lesbian too, I do not flirt or dress to please. I’ve given up that game a long time ago.

My attempt at a costume for Diwali.

And then something surprising happened. Terry, to my left, began to engage with me. The man HE had been talking to was flirting with the women at the other end of the table. That left me. We talked, Mayan Train, health, family and diet. He did some mansplaining about things that I was quite knowledgeable about, so I listened.

Jey our chef extraordinaire. Me second on the right.

The evening was enjoyable, although I learned something about myself. I really don’t do well in crowds, even small ones. I disengage or talk to one person at a time. In the past, I’ve made the decision to get to know someone by really going after them, a brunch date or an invitation to our house. And like anything else, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m about 25% success rate.

Covid allowed me to be a hermit and my friendship muscles have atrophied. I have a gym acquaintance who owns a restaurant in Bacalar and who is willing to host a monthly expat gathering. I’m going to get the word out on social media. We will start in the new year. For me the personal stretch of those underutilized friendship muscles will be to show up and engage. And just maybe I will find a new friend.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

Adiós Carla

28 Jun

My friend Carla says adiós to Mexico and leaves for Europe with a one-way ticket tomorrow. She bought a little house on Laguna Bacalar, sight unseen eight years ago. For a long time she was the only person who spoke English in her pueblo.

While the view from her dock is beautiful, the little village she lives in on the east end of the Laguna is riddled with poverty, lack of education and little infrastructure. With Covid, there is more fear and crime.

Breakfast with Carla

We have been having breakfast together once a week for about a year. We talk politics, community drama, aging, and the tilting world we live in. I know she has been unhappy for quite awhile but hoped she could find peace.

Women’s March 2017

Friendship is not easy to come by among the expats in Bacalar. Actually anywhere. I will miss her.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

All About Jack

Jack Scott, author of Perking the Pansies and Turkey Street

Emilie Vardaman

travel and random thoughts

Your Hand in Mind

Musings of a human factors engineer after her brain was released...

Adventures with LoLo

Surviving Yucatan

Smoothing out Mexico's rough spots.

Surviving Mexico

Adventures and Disasters

Perking the Pansies

Jack Scott's random ramblings

WordPress.com Blog

News, Tips & Website Tutorials