This week I was working in the kitchen and listening to 90’s Country Music. I was dancing around by myself, two stepping, spinning. Slow slow quick quick. So many of the songs brought to mind individual friends, Harper, Jean, Cori, Denise, Cindy, Trish, Betty. We danced two or three nights a week, two stepping, waltz, and line dancing. It’s where I met my wife.
That’s me, second from the left.
I came out in 1990’s in Austin, Texas. The country bar was the place to see and be seen. I quickly figured out taking dance lessons and learning to lead got the attention and the girls. I’d always been a dancer so it wasn’t that difficult. So many memories.
We had so much fun. Happy Halloween
I remember being much younger and having a neighbor in the duplex next door who listened to 60s music all day. I rolled my eyes. Ah the judgements of youth. While I don’t listen to Garth, Travis, Willie, George, Dolly or Shania all day, for an hour this week I was transported to a simpler time. Good times for this old gal.
You’ve probably read about “Blue Zones”. They are areas of the planet where people live longer, healthier and happier. Studies have identified commonalities that we all can incorporate into life to improve health and longevity.
The one important area of the circle that has eluded us has been having a community of friends and family that we socialize with and depend on. When we first explored moving to Bacalar, we found what appeared to be a vibrant social community. There were parties and the potential for numerous friendships, or so we thought. In the nine years we have lived here, much has changed. People moved on, Covid hit and we have grown more and more isolated in our beautiful jungle home.
The view from our porch.
This week the proverbial shit hit the fan. Lisa’s mom has not been doing well since her bout with Covid. There have been multiple doctor visits as we attempted to figure out and give her some relief from symptoms that have put a halt her day to day activities.
Last photo before Covid.
Also this week, Lisa and I both broke out in some jungle crud rash that is itchy, and causing small, burning blisters. I will not post any pictures.
I had a molar pulled due to a broken root. Hopefully I am a candidate for an implant down the road. Again, no pictures.
On top of all of this and more that I won’t go into, the car broke down. Weird smells and even weirder noises is enough to stress us out big time which I’m sure is a no-no for Blue Zone living.
When I woke today my game plan was clear, ask for help. As a USer, lesbian and overall pain in the ass, my modus operandi is, figure it out, do it myself, “I’ve got this”. Well, not today folks.
David, the general contractor who built our house took Alice to her doctor appointment and provided translation ❤️
I had made a friend at the gym who mentioned that he had an auto mechanic. We have found it so important to know people who know people. I called Rod and his mechanic is at our house right now working on the car. We have been loosing sleep over all this drama, which is never a good thing.
A burned out alternator is not in our wheelhouseMy hunky gym rat. Thank you Rod for sending your mechanic.
I’m not sure what’s with us and hunky guys but we are so grateful for the help. The car is fixed and Alice has an inner ear infection which is highly treatable. Breathe, relax. I guess you never know where your people will come from. Relationships of all sorts are worth nurturing and sometimes you do that by being vulnerable and asking for help. Friends can always say no, but sometimes they surprise you.
Twenty-eight years for a lesbian relationship is like a hundred years for everyone else. The bookies taking bets on us would have lost money big time.
Lisa – twelve years my junior. Former smoker, drinker, X-military. She just started college in 1994.
Me – mom to three children, still sharing a house and co-parenting with my X-husband. I just started graduate school in 1994.
Our first Valentine’s. We were so young! 1997
We met at “the bar”. For you younger folks, back in the day, gay bars were how we all met. At one time there were actually three lesbian bars in Austin, Chances, Nexus and About Time! Unfortunately they have gone the way of the very extinct dodo bird.
In 1999, we had a backyard commitment ceremony after five years and the purchase of a house. Nothing says commitment like buying a house together.
It’s all about the cake!Sharing a private moment.
In 2015 marriage became legal in all 50 US states. We had a small ceremony and made it legal in California. In case you lost count, that gives us three anniversary dates (and two honeymoons).
Our daughter planned and executed this memorable event.
As we can barely remember what day it is, we have always celebrated the day we met, September 16, 1994. It’s been a wild ride and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
We got home Wednesday from a two-week toodle to the US. I went for my annual physical and a mammogram. We also got ANOTHER Covid booster. The main reason for the visit however was for Lisa to see the orthopedic surgeon for follow-up and release of care. She had a spinal fusion one year ago. We had the appointment booked months out. The doctor’s office cancelled the day before.
Up and at ‘em within hours of surgery 2021.
Trips to the US are quite involved. First there’s the flight. We buy more expensive tickets in order to fly direct, no layovers. Sitting for hours on planes, shuffling through security, waiting in line in airports, taxis and buses, all takes its toll on our bodies. It’s a twelve hour return travel day and that’s only to an hotel in Puerto Morelos. There’s another four hour bus ride to Bacalar the following day. It takes two days of travel to and from Austin.
Puerto Morelos 30 minutos from Cancun airport.
The Veterans Administration picked up the tab for Lisa’s original surgery. There is insurance for procedures that the VA hospitals aren’t equipped to perform. Silly us, we assumed that approving the surgery would include the final release of care appointment. Sigh.
We did manage to visit family and friends, eat some good food and celebrate Mexican Independence Day – Texas style.
A lovely day hanging out poolside.Dos Tortas with our eldest son.
For the last two weeks, we have been in Texas, dodging Covid, bullets, visiting friends and family and attending to annual medical visits. Missing a blog post was a first in ten years! Friday Sept 16 celebrated twenty-eight years since Lisa and I collided in a gay bar in downtown Austin, Texas. Life is a hoot.
Fun with family exploring Natural Bridge Caverns.We were very impressed with this Cavern that is down the street and we’ve never visited!Sept 16 is Mexican Independence Day. Classic cars are truly a Mexican passion.We haven’t been to a street fair in forever! Music, food, dancing and art!
We return to Bacalar on Tuesday. Our puppies will be glad.
Our trip to Thailand in 2005 was one of the most memorable experiences of our lives. However, those memories will have to live in our mind because we cannot locate any of our photos. I have searched everywhere.
While staying in northern Thailand we went on a three-day guided hike through a national park that is home to indigenous tribes. Locals housed and fed us as we explored a waterfall, enormous cave, and giant bamboo forest. The Hmong tribal villages survive by allowing foreigners to traipse through their world, sleeping on bamboo cots and waking with the roosters.
We left the mountains and high altitude to explore the coast. You can’t go to Thailand without going to the beach. Since we only had ten days total vacation, we hopped a flight to the coast. Our amazing vacation continued with kayaking in an ancient cave, wandering into another monastery and visiting some of the area devastated by the tsunami. There were families sitting in doorways of concrete box houses slapped together to provide a modicum of shelter. Everyone did their best to welcome back tourists but there was still a long way back to recovery at that time.
I understand why expats from all over the world move to Thailand. The people are kind and generous. The food is to die for and there are monks and temples on every corner. It truly should be on every world traveler’s bucket list.
I have always said that the test of any relationship is to travel together. Managing the twists and turns of adventure can be fun and stressful. We rarely do scripted travel.
Chiang Dao Nest boutique hotel and restaurant.
Our overnight bus deposited us in the sleepy village of Chiang Dao with no taxis in sight. I left Lisa with the luggage and wandered in search of something, but I didn’t know what. I found a clothing store getting ready for the day and explained as best I could to the proprietor what we needed. With an old school phone call, two scooters appeared as if by magic. The drivers grabbed our duffles, loaded us as passengers behind them and off we went careening down the road, hopefully, to our hotel.
Since the day was still quite young, we dropped off our luggage and set about on foot to explore the tropical environment. Unfortunately we forgot to bring a camera.
We passed this temple while walking.
Taking a right out of the hotel entrance, we began a lovely, early morning stroll down a country road in Thailand. The air was fresh and the birds loud. We were in heaven.
The road narrowed to a trail which turned into a rickety stair. There was a sign that we couldn’t read. Whenever we travel, Lisa always poses the question, “Are we allowed to do this?” My attitude is a shrug. What could go wrong? We haven’t been arrested yet.
We climbed, and climbed and climbed over 500 steps, eventually figuring out that we were entering a monastery. Bald men in orange robes were going about their morning routine. Laundry was hung about and incense floating through the air. No one paid us any mind as we continued to climb the stairs.
500 and some up and down.
Eventually we discovered the main attraction. With eyes wide and mouths agog we entered a huge cave filled with gold Buddhas and flickering candles. We certainly weren’t in Kansas anymore. I can close my eyes and still feel that rarified holy environment. I don’t think they let women be Buddhist monks, but I was ready to move in.
It took months before I realized that the Golden Buddha cave was where our friends got married! They didn’t leave a lot of breadcrumbs so I was completely surprised when the lightbulb went off. What a trip! And we weren’t done yet.
When I heard on the radio that the best way to help Thailand recover from the devastating 2004 tsunami was to take our vacation dollars there, I was all in. My friend Joe’s wedding had left breadcrumbs for us to follow. We made reservations at the same hotel in Chiang Dao, Northern Thailand.
Chiang Dao Nest
The flight from Austin went through Houston and on to Tokyo. We had a five hour layover in Tokyo and an additional nine hour flight to Bangkok. The flight is mostly a blur except for being squeezed into a cramped three seat row and a total travel time of almost twenty-four hours.
In Bangkok we hired a tuktuk driver to tour us around the city. It’s a hopping place and we could have spent a lot more time there, visiting temples, getting massages and eating amazing food. After Bangkok the plan was to take the train to northern Thailand. We had reservations at the same B&B that our friend had stayed at for his wedding. All good, except when we went to buy tickets, we discovered that the trains were on strike.
Tuktuks adventure on three wheels.
In case you wondered, we are not high dollar travelers. We fly in the cheap seats and as long as hotels are clean and safe, we’re good. We were bummed to find out that the trains were unavailable but when the travel agent recommended the overnight bus, we though, why not?
Reclining Buda Bangkok
The overnight bus could be a blog post in and of itself. Imagine a double decker hotel on wheels. Seats recline and stack and other than a bit of snoring, we slept like babies rolling down the highway. What an experience!
We arrived at Chiang Dao around 7:00am. Nothing was open and there were no taxis to be found. We also had no idea how far our hotel was. Little did we know that it was the beginning of one of the most amazing days of our lives. Stay tuned.
The tsunami along the coast of Thailand and India shook the world on Boxing Day 2004. Like everyone else, we were riveted to the news and videos showing mammoth waves devouring everything in sight. For me the difference was my friends had just gotten married in Thailand and were likely in the wave’s path.
We went to this museum before the monuments were included.
Joe’s blog described plans for the engaged couple and both sets of parents to travel to northern Thailand for a Buddhist wedding ceremony. They had a fabulous bed and breakfast reserved and beautiful Thai wedding attire.
I checked his blog site multiple times a day after the tsunami, hoping for an update. As the number of dead and missing soared and time passed I became more and more frantic. What had happened to them? Would I ever know?
Then one day, a week or so later, a post appeared. Joe had been on his honeymoon and oblivious to the rest of the world. Apparently he’d been scammed by a travel agency and lost his hotel reservations and money! His post didn’t even mention one of the world’s largest natural disasters. He dodged a bullet.
I eventually lost track of Joe after his blog fizzled. I guess married life trumped the blog. One day I heard on the radio, “if you want to help Thailand, bring your tourist dollars back.” It sounded like as good a reason as any to go. Plans for Thailand began!
In 2003, Lisa and I tootled on down to Belize. I had perused a book at Book People in Austin that touted Belize as the perfect retirement location. Why not? We planned our vacation to check it out.
It was quite an adventure getting to our selected hotel, the Black Rock Ecolodge. Belize City was a quick flight from Houston and surprisingly affordable. We hailed a “chicken bus” (third class, no AC) to San Ignacio on the Belize/Guatemala border. The lodge was another seven miles down a pitted, winding, dirt road. We found out later that the taxi driver had a rifle under his seat. The Belize border was not the safest place in those days.
The following morning at breakfast we met a couple of USers who were getting ready to venture back into San Ignacio to join a tour group across the Guatemala border to the pyramids of Tikal. We immediately dropped our non-existent plans, changed into our hiking boots and joined them. Best decision of the trip!
Tikal is an amazing Mayan site. The closing scene in the original Star Wars was filmed here.
The folks that we joined were from across the US and a very interesting bunch. Belize is a small country and we bumped into them more than once and enjoyed their company immensely.
A sunset/full moon sail around the island of Caye Caulker with our new friends.
One of the solo travelers in the group was Joe. He would soon be off to start his tour in the Peace Corps and Belize was his last hoorah. He was partaking of the Belizean rum as if they might run out. I found him to be entertaining and when he talked about his blog, I was eager to follow. I had always dreamed about joining the Peace Corps in my younger days. Following him was my first experience with a blog. After all, it was 2003. He was funny and I looked forward to each post.
Caye Caulker in 2003 and today.
Joe was assigned to Bangladesh and his blog was riveting. He described the poverty and something he abhorred, the violence against animals. However, it didn’t take him long to meet someone and was smitten. She was also assigned to Bangladesh. The blog took a lighter tone as they planned a wedding, in Thailand, in December 2004. If you don’t remember your history, look it up. Their wedding affected us in ways we couldn’t have predicted. Next week I will continue the story of how we followed in their footsteps and traveled to Thailand in 2005 and the surprises that unfolded.
the adventures of dos tortas 
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