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We All Make Mistakes

7 Oct

This week has been crazy on so many levels. While traveling back to California, I missed my flight out of Mexico City. It was totally my fault, but nonetheless caused a domino affect of long waits, additional expenses and cancelled debit card. While I ultimately reached my destination it wasn’t without the onset of a head cold that has me off limits to my granddaughters. The need for lots of rest is not necessarily a bad thing.

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Leaving Chetumal at dawn. Adiós Mexico for another month.

Sitting in bed has me doing the most unproductive behavior possible, watching the news, specifically the Kavanaugh debacle. A positive outcome, and I hope there are many, is that women are remembering long dismissed experiences and talking about them. I know I am. I’d like to share an incident where I spoke up and the resulting, appalling reactions of my community.

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Mexico City airport sculpture exhibit helps pass the time. Metamorphosis – Between Heaven and Earth.

In March 2017 I sent an email to our local list-serve reporting an incident with a very popular dentist in the Bacalar expatriate community. He speaks English and was recommended when we first moved to Mexico. You know how it is, you move to a new place and ask around for a dentist. Dr. M was the one. Then he tried to kiss Lisa.

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My favorite piece.

It was so easy to think she misread cues. After all everyone kisses everyone in Mexico. However, this was NOT the case. When we discovered two other women, friends of ours, who had the same experience, it was time to warn people. I did not expect the response I got.

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The emails that ensued made my head spin. People came to his defense. They accused me of reporting hearsay. They recounted all the years they had gone to him and he didn’t try to kiss THEM. I finally sent out the following email:

Dear Friends,

Because it didn’t happen to YOU doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Because it is reported anonymously doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. When it happens to YOU and you speak up and others come forward, you don’t get to say, why didn’t you say something sooner? The responses to my email is exactly why women don’t share. We are questioned and doubted. Most of us have been groped, forced, touched without permission, and some assaulted. If it’s happened to one, it’s happened to others. This was presented as information and a warning. Please consider this discussion closed unless you know how we can report it officially. Alex

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I love the morning visit with the dogs to our dock.

I cannot imagine what Christine Blasey Ford is going through. I doubt my blog will change anyone’s mind. Yesterday I watched several of his female judicial clerks describe Judge Kavanaugh in glowing terms. No one is calling him a monster. Everyone makes mistakes. In my opinion he should not be sitting on the Supreme Court, period. Please comment, share and subscribe.

DOS TORTAS

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Permanent Residency – Finally

30 Sep

After five years of retirement in Mexico, I received my Residencia Permanente. It surprised me how emotional I felt leaving the Immigration Office clutching my newly minted green card. It not only represents the passage of time, but a personal growth that could not have been achieved any other way. 

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Gotta love the photo. They really go for the mugshot look.

I remember when when we first started the residency process I dragged tons of file folders filled with bank statements, proof of income, rental agreements, etc., to the immigration office. We were so unsure what was required. We waited hours and made numerous trips due to inexperienced staff and my less than stellar Spanish skills. Today the process is more streamlined, my Spanish has vastly improved and the agents are experienced and very helpful.

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Artist Terry Smith of Seattle, WA. From my recent trip. 

On Monday I return to California and grandma duty for another month. I am so grateful to our house sitter who is caring for the dogs and managing the house in our absence.  We couldn’t have done this without you. Share, comment, subscribe.

DOS TORTAS 

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A Time For Reflection

23 Sep

It’s Sunday (my usual day of blogging) and nothing has been posted, written or is even dancing around in my head. I am in Bacalar, Mexico to handle an immigration deadline and I will be going back to California in a week to finish the commitment to our daughter and her family. 

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Our beautiful granddaughters.

I think I really want to spend some time this week listening. Our home in Bacalar is such a place of peace and quiet. California with our twin granddaughters and two year old grandson has been a challenge to my sense of calm. I believe that peace is not a matter of circumstances but a choice. My listening is about what I need to consistently make that choice.

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A lovely little shower moving across the Laguna. Can you hear the thunder?

I know this is out of the norm for my blog. It’s where I’ve been lately and trying to decide whether or not to share it. So here goes. What do you do when you need guidance that talking and thinking does not provide?

DOS TORTAS 

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Just Maybe There Are No Coincidences

16 Sep

Before retiring, I traveled a fair amount for my job. I’ve always wished I had kept a photojournal of the interesting people who sat next to me on airplanes and made the time literally fly by. There was a man who allowed my toddler to gnaw on his diamond watch as we were delayed landing in Newark airport. An animal trainer with scarred arms who was traveling with a lion cub in the belly of the plane on his way to Austin to shoot a movie. Once a man slipped into the seat next to me at the last minute, in shorts and carrying a large camera. He captained sailboats for the rich and famous and in his spare time shot pictures for National Geographic. I wish I’d thought to keep their names and pictures (this was a time before selfies).

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The marvelous Chihuly Glass Museum in Seattle.

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This week I took a break from caring for our twin granddaughters to visit friends in Seattle for a few days. It was lovely weather and I had a wonderful time. On my flight back to Santa Rosa I met a very special woman. But let me set the stage…

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No trip to Seattle is complete without a visit to the Space Needle

I am an avid Instagram follower of a dog photographer who calls himself The Dogist. His expressive photos make me smile and lift my day. Recently he’d been posting pictures and promoting the organization Canine Companions in Santa Rosa, Ca., about twenty minutes from where we are staying. I even told Lisa that it would be fun to visit them. They provide highly trained assistance dogs for veterans and anyone who needs them. A worthy cause indeed.

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Much to my delight I sat on the return flight from Seattle next to Ester Molina, the Director of Breeding and Puppy Program for Canine Companions. We had a wonderful conversation about so many things. We truly are kindred souls. We even discovered that she was born on my birthday! It’s so lovely to make a connection with a seeming stranger. It reminds me that there really are no strangers, only friends we haven’t met yet. So my recommendation to you is go out there and connect with someone new. It’s so much fun. Please comment, share and follow.

DOS TORTAS
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Today’s Spanish Lesson ¿Dónde está el baño?

9 Sep

This lovely little post reminds me of our early days living in Mexico. September first was five years since our arrival. Enjoy,

DOS TORTAS

via Today’s Spanish Lesson ¿Dónde está el baño?

A Walk Through Wine Country

2 Sep

If you have found your way to this blog looking for tales of retirement adventures in Mexico, you’ve come to the right place. However our adventures of late have taken a detour and are temporarily located in Northern California caring for our children and premature twin granddaughters.

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A tired and happy dad.

Life is good and shaken us out of our retirement routine. Nothing is predictable with newborns and their two and a half year old brother. There are middle of the night diaper changes, keeping the house in order and making sure our little team is hydrated and fed. A nursing mother consumes an extra thousand calories a day with twins!

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A trip to the children’s museum with Max.

My morning walk through neighboring wine country has been saving grace. The temperature is a far cry from tropical Bacalar.

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Hot air balloons overhead most weekend mornings.

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Front yard orchard.

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The smell of lavender everywhere.

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Country roads delight the senses.

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Early morning grape harvesting.

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Wild geese.

We will be in California until the first of November. Please comment and share. Until next time.

DOS TORTAS

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Fear vs Adventure

26 Aug

I consciously avoid most news these days as it is too depressing. Somehow this week I began to follow the disappearance of Mollie Tibbetts, a young woman out jogging in Iowa who seemingly disappeared. After endlessly reviewing security camera footage, the police reported what happened to her and what might have been her final words. After her abductor approached on the street, she clutched her cell phone telling him to leave her alone or she would call the police. She was too late I’m afraid.

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Life is blooming in Northern Cali. Loving the morning walks.

It reminds me of something that happened to me, at exactly her age. I was walking early one morning to my first college summer job. I cut across a neighborhood park. It was barely light, but how dangerous could it be with all those houses just across the street? I heard footsteps behind me, but did not run, nor scream or even turn to face the intruder. Of course there was no cell phone to clutch. A man walked up behind me and thrust his hand between my legs and turned and hurried away. I was stunned. I did not think to report it, after all he didn’t “hurt” me. Calling it sexual assault was unthinkable at that time. I’m not sure I ever told anyone. I also don’t remember how I got to work from then on.

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A woman and her dog.

All this was streaming through my mind as I was again on a morning walk, in another park with few people in site. A woman was walking her dog ahead of me and I motioned to the dog who happily made a beeline to have his ears scratched and his rump tickled. She laughed and said, “so much for my protector.” I struck up a conversation with her and we talked briefly about how we must be constantly vigilant. It’s exhausting in ways we’re not even aware.

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If you’ve followed this blog, you know that I talk frequently about living fearlessly. After all, adventure is the antithesis of fear and safety has a high price. But what about Mollie? Was she like me, pretending there was no threat? She was 20 years old with the world by the tail. We must not let it scare us. Please, please don’t quit having adventures. It would make your life very small. Just be careful. Adiós Mollie. Go with God.

DOS TORTAS
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Off The Beaten Path – Ticul

19 Aug

For the next two months we will be visiting our children in Northern California, helping with the integration of two new family members.

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Our newborn twin granddaughters Analise and Sara.

Please enjoy his earlier blog post from May 2015. September begins our sixth year of retirement in Bacalar. Life is good and we are so grateful for these babies and the chance to support their parents in getting them off to a good start. What are you grateful for?

DOS TORTAS 

via Off The Beaten Path – Ticul

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A Car Chase in Bacalar Taxista #29

12 Aug

While we are preparing for the twins to come home from the hospital and chasing down a two year old, The TORTAS have been busy. Please enjoy a look back into our adventurous life in Mexico. DOS TORTAS 

via A Car Chase in Bacalar Taxista #29 

What You Won’t Find In Bacalar

5 Aug

I have spent over five years describing retirement life in the far reaches of the Mexican jungle. There are blog posts on murals, mercado’s, pyramids, dogs and small town living. For the next few months we are in Northern California, USA taking care of our daughter’s family as they integrate two new members. 

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Our granddaughters born July 11, Sara and Analise

Some things I’ve noticed that we DON’T have in Bacalar:
Hot Air Balloons

There is a local festival here every June so it’s no surprise that we’ve seen balloons overhead the last few mornings. What better way to see the wine country? Unfortunately the sky has been hazy due to the fires burning north of here. Maybe we could get some balloons over Laguna Bacalar. I’d be up for a ride. How about you? https://youtu.be/C6-mO46u9hc

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Wild Geese

I’ve been seeing geese overhead and grazing on the lawns of the high school when out for an early walk. They’re so majestic and noisy.

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Cherries

We might occasionally get cherries at the grocery store in Chetumal, but not like those that are available in Northern California. We’re going to the farmer’s market later today. Cherries are number one on my shopping list.

Our Kids

It’s wonderful to be retired and able to help our daughter and her family. It really does take a village.

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Enjoy your life today. It’s the only day you get.
DOS TORTAS
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Emilie Vardaman

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