Life Is So Unpredictable

2 Feb

When my youngest brother was in hospice care dying of brain cancer, I wanted to do something for him, but there was little to be done. He had stopped speaking and just looked at us with soft eyes. My brother was a character. He was a hair stylist and a massage therapist. He used to volunteer at a prison, going in with only clippers to sculpt Afros. He loved it.

Such a cutie. Youngest of five.

What about a massage? I found the yellow pages (remember them?) and looked for a candidate. I scrolled through the list, getting either no answer or no dice. But then…

He was just beginning to have symptoms when this picture was taken.

I found a guy who was willing to come out. He was a rotund gay boy who had worked on many dying men during the AIDS crisis. He was wonderful. I saw my brother’s face relax. He loved it.

My mother’s wedding.

When our angel was done he asked if we’d like to do Reiki on Michael. Reiki is a hands on healing/energy work. I was familiar but had never tried it. He cradled my brother’s head. I stood holding his feet. My daughter was on one side and my sister-in-law on the other. I closed my eyes, not knowing what to expect.

After his first surgery.

The room was quiet. My hands began to tingle. The only way to describe it was an electrical current entering one hand, traveling my body and out the other. We were a healing circle and I was incredibly moved. As we exited the room, our angel glowed. I don’t know how else to describe it. As I hugged him expressing my gratitude, the TV across the hall was playing “Amazing Grace”. It was as close to a miracle as I’ve ever experienced.

Michael (left) healing from first brain surgery. Me, oldest brother.

I have since become both a massage therapist and a Reiki practitioner. Loosing my youngest brother changed me. I can’t believe it will be the twenty fifth anniversary of his death this year. I miss him every day.

DOS TORTAS

12 Responses to “Life Is So Unpredictable”

  1. EmilySmith's avatar
    EmilySmith February 2, 2025 at 11:54 am #

    What a moving post. My younger brother is one of my very best friends; I can’t imagine losing him. Love the photo of the three of you! Thank you for sharing this very personal post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25's avatar
      afish25 February 2, 2025 at 8:19 pm #

      Thanks Emily. I’m a bit taken aback by the response. ❤️

      Like

  2. LJones's avatar
    LJones February 2, 2025 at 12:47 pm #

    Dear Alex,
    I don’t believe I knew you lost a brother – my love to you for your loss and remembering him today. And what an amazing story – I wish more people would share stories like this…we need them and they are so very encouraging. Thank you for your blog today –

    Sending love to you three – and hope you are going for a swim! Xo Lorrie

    Lorrie Jones
    Simple Serenity
    simpleserenity.comhttp://simpleserenity.com/
    253.312.3117

    Like

  3. Nancy Taylor's avatar
    Nancy Taylor February 2, 2025 at 1:50 pm #

    What a wonderful story and a great experience. Lucky you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gail Beyrle's avatar
    Gail Beyrle February 2, 2025 at 11:13 pm #

    Thank you for sharing a very personal story. Very heartwarming.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25's avatar
      afish25 February 9, 2025 at 2:09 pm #

      To be vulnerable is all we really have.

      Like

  5. Jack Scott's avatar
    Jack Scott February 3, 2025 at 4:17 am #

    Really moving. So sad but also so inspirational.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Emilie's avatar
    Emilie February 10, 2025 at 11:30 am #

    25 years is a long time to be without your little brother. I’m glad you were able to find a massage therapist and I’m glad he showed you what Reiki can do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25's avatar
      afish25 February 10, 2025 at 12:30 pm #

      He had a daughter who is like another one of my kids. He left a gift I treasure.

      Liked by 1 person

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