Death Knocks

30 May

It was a sucker punch to the stomach this week, when I received the news on Facebook that a dear friend has cancer. And not just cancer but stage four, liver, lung and bone cancer. Suze and I have been friends for almost thirty years. We met on a shuttle from the Michigan Women’s Music Festival in the 90’s. My life has been so much richer knowing this crazy woman who makes me laugh. We’ve been to each other’s weddings, and a boatload of parties. We’ve had sleep-overs for New Year’s Eve and watched the Texas low-budget, cult classic Sordid Lives in our pajamas. When she retired from social work, this dynamo took up real estate and sold our home in 2013 so Lisa and I could scurry off to be Dos Tortas in southern Mexico.

In 1999 Lisa and I had a commitment ceremony before marriage was legal. Suze was there.

There was a year of tests that came back negative until they didn’t. No treatment, 3-6 months, get your affairs in order, say your goodbyes.

Suze is the queen of having your affairs in order. In her long career as a social worker, she was the head of Texas Partner for End Of Life Care (TxPEC) which helped develop directives for physicians and clergy to better assistant the dying. It’s because of her fearless advocacy that many have had the hard conversations and their wills are in order.

I am glad that Lisa and I will be back in Texas this summer. We will sit together, hold hands and create final memories. I love you Suze and you will always be in my heart and at least you’ll never have to go on another diet!


9 Responses to “Death Knocks”

  1. Emilie Vardaman May 30, 2021 at 9:46 am #

    Hard to learn these things. It seems these days Facebook is the place I learn of death, cancer, sadness. But I also learn of weddings, births, and wonderful celebrations, thank goodness.
    Enjoy Suze this summer. I know you will.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25 May 30, 2021 at 10:14 am #

      Not the first death announcement we’ve received on FB. I am grateful for a bit more time with her.


  2. Karen May 30, 2021 at 2:52 pm #

    To live long is to experience such losses. I am sorry for this news but know you look forward to some precious time together. Another lesson in appreciating each other and living each minute to its fullest.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25 May 30, 2021 at 3:00 pm #

      Live each moment to the fullest. Wise words indeed.


  3. Karen Hodgens May 30, 2021 at 5:21 pm #

    Sorry about your friend.


  4. Jack Scott May 31, 2021 at 9:46 am #

    So sorry to hear about your friend. A really tough gig 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. LJones May 31, 2021 at 11:34 am #

    I’m so sorry Alex…she looks like such a special woman – sending love

    From: the adventures of dos tortas Date: Sunday, May 30, 2021 at 6:02 AM To: Lorrie Jones Subject: [New post] Death Knocks afish25 posted: ” It was a sucker punch to the stomach this week, when I received the news on Facebook that a dear friend has cancer. And not just cancer but stage four, liver, lung and bone cancer. Suze and I have been friends for almost thirty years. We met on a shuttle”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dale Brous June 27, 2021 at 9:23 am #

    I just discovered your blog. I can’t put words to how touched I was. I am not on facebook, nor do I sign up for receiving emails, etc. But I feel I found a very special friend today. You say what I feel. And yes, my husband and I went to Bacala in about 86. Guess I best not return. They say age is when dreams become memories. I will always savor those memories of a very special place. And yes, we live in SMA. Where has humanity gone. Common sense. Logic. Simple humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25 June 27, 2021 at 9:27 am #

      Hey Dale, glad you found us. SMA is changing so much too. Who knows what the future holds.


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