Tag Archives: Real Love

When Communication Is Not Your First Language

8 Nov

Sometimes a comedic line on a TV series can hit a bit close to home. As was the case when Patrick’s said to David on the Emma Award winning series Schitt’s Creek, “I understand David that communication is not your first language.

A must watch tale of love.

While I had a good laugh, I’ve also had to ponder (as my wife would say) communication as a language skill.

A relationship takes a commitment to love and communication.

Since moving to Mexico, I have been daily studying Spanish as a second language. My foray into learning Spanish began in high school. It continued during a junior year abroad in Mexico and with additional college coursework and a job where I spoke Spanish daily.

Regardless of how hard I work, I am clear that I will never pass as a native speaker. Between idioms, accent and constructing new cognitive frameworks, I have a lot to learn.

I think the same can be said of communication. When my kids were little, I used to teach a course called, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen. Also for ten years, I have been a student and coach of Real Love by Dr. Greg Baer.

Learning the language of communication takes daily effort and attention. Remembering that most people have never worked to improve the skills that mom and dad taught them, helps me to have patience. It also reminds me to not take things personally and lower my expectations. I don’t think communication will ever be my first language either, but remain a lifetime study for as long as I live.


It’s That Time of Year

29 Oct

It is that season in Bacalar, cooler temperatures and beautiful sunrises. It’s the time of year that those who reside here year round, live for.


The Canadians and other part-timers usually show up about the first of December through April. The hotels are full and the restaurants busy.


In the four years since we moved here, we’ve seen a lot of growth. There are many new hotels and a wider selection of good places to eat. I’ve heard there’s even a Japanese restaurant although we haven’t been able to find it. Lol


Lisa really appreciates the new Time Out sports bar run by our friend Kim. We get to watch football and the World Series and eat some good food in Bacalar! Imagine that.


Love love love Mexican murals.


We are learning to enjoy the Bacalar of today and smile at the “do you remember when…?” reminiscings of those who moved here before us. The only thing you can bank on is change.


So enjoy whatever is here and now for you. Love whoever is in front of you. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. DOS TORTAS 






Real World Peace

17 Jul

It’s been a heartbreaking week, month, year. Sometimes I feel guilty that I concern myself so little with world violence; as if watching the news, talking about it and worrying could make a difference. I live in a safe place on Laguna Bacalar in Mexico and feel very blessed and privileged to do so.


Sunrise This Week

I do my best to be genuinely happy one day at a time. No complaints and gratitude, gratitude, graditude. I figure it’s my best contribution to world peace.


Garden Delights

Some days all I can do is make dinner, clean the kitchen and love the person in front of me.


Always Curious Luna

I fool myself into thinking that I actually connect with people through social media and blogging. This week I commit to making three phone calls to have real conversations. How about you? What will you do to connect? DOS TORTAS



By Matt Haig

Gratitude Gratitude Gratitude

1 Mar

Looking at the world through the lense of a blog makes for an interesting experience. The Tortas are visiting Austin, Texas, home to family and friends and our former life. There’s been a mountain of loving connections, tasks completed and lessons learned.

Taking selfies with Sophia age one.

Taking selfies with Sophia age one.

Hunter age three with Grandma Lisa.

Hunter age three with Grandma Lisa.

There was a great sunrise out first morning in town. We were on our way to an early appointment at the Veteran’s Administration Clinic. The VA has checked Lisa’s health from head to toe. She will have new glasses and the continued support she needs to stay healthy.

Heading toward the VA Clinic on highway 71.

Heading toward the VA Clinic on highway 71.

A walk along Lady Bird Lake provides a view of downtown Austin. This was the warmest day we had during our stay. Note to self: come back when it’s not so cold!

View from the newly extended hike and bike trail.

View from the newly extended hike and bike trail.

While visiting Austin, I celebrated my birthday. We had a small gathering of friends at a local restaurant that had a swing band playing on a weeknight. After all, Austin is the live music capital of the world. No small claim.

The Lucky Strikes

The Lucky Strikes

We are blessed to be staying with family members Steven and Terry. There are two pictures on the shelf in their home that make me smile and bring back sweet memories.

Our backyard commitment ceremony in 1999.

Our backyard commitment ceremony in 1999.

The same backyard in 2012 for my 60th birthday.

The same backyard in 2012 celebrating my 60th birthday.

Time is flying by as we prepare to wend our way home to Bacalar. All I can say is gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, for a city that opens its arms to welcome us, family and friends who make time in their busy schedule and comfy homes, and everyone at the VA who went out of their way to adjust appointments and meet our every need. I am also grateful for the amazing life we have chosen in Bacalar. Life is very, very good.

A breakfast stop at Mother's Cafe. Great vegetarian/vegan restaurant and an Austin treasure.

A breakfast stop at Mother’s Cafe. Great vegetarian/vegan restaurant and an Austin treasure.




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