Tag Archives: aging

The Unexpected We Should Expect

26 Oct

If we do not see someone or talk to them in thirty years can we  still consider them a good friend? Are comments and posts on Facebook enough? Somehow I imagined running into him in a coffee shop and picking up the conversation where we left off. Memories, shared history and familiarity would bring us up to date. Where did the time go?

This week I lost that opportunity. Gareth found out two months ago that he had gallbladder cancer. It’s one of those nasty cancers that by the time you find out, it’s too late. It hit me like a punch in the stomach. I can’t imagine what it did to his wife and son.

I went to Gareth and Wendy’s wedding in 1983. My son was days old when I wrapped us both in a blanket and ventured out. It was April and one of those Texas spring days with the sun out and a blustery wind. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding in the Texas Hill Country

I called a mutual friend this week to make sure she knew of his passing . She reminisced of a road trip they took, camping along the way. “I had such a crush on him.” I think we all did.

A friend wrote on his FB page, “If I was told that as of yesterday there were no more mountains on earth, I think it would feel the way I feel hearing there is no more Gareth. It’s simply impossible. I love that guy. ❤️.” What a lovely sentiment.

His page is filling up with stories, sadness, and shock. He was such a dear person.

My “old” friend Gareth.

One more reason to be grateful for another day on this spinning rock. Farewell and adiós Gareth. To have been so loved is a life well lived. And we did not expect it.

DOS TORTAS

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Sharing The Story Within Us

12 Oct

“Aging is not for the weak. One day you wake up and realize that your youth is gone, but along with it, so go insecurity, haste, and the need to please… You learn to walk more slowly, but with greater certainty. You say goodbye without fear, and you cherish those who stay. Aging means letting go, it means accepting, it means discovering that beauty was never in our skin… but in the story we carry inside us.” Meryl Streep.

Beauty in the hood.

Almost thirteen years ago, I began this blog to shine a light for others who might like to follow and to let my family and friends know what we were up to on this adventure of living in Mexico. Little did I know how things would change.

You Tube, Instagram, Ticktock and god knows what else are overflowing with stories of people who have self deported. Much like we did, they sold everything, scooped up their families and relocated to an unfamiliar culture, language and environment.

More beauty.

Many are trying to romanticize it all. While I love Mexico, the struggle is real. At least we left by choice.

Our blog has evolved from the Adventures of Dos Tortas to the Aging of Dos Tortas. We are in as unfamiliar a territory as the deportees.

Some days I wonder why I continue to write. I guess I do it for me. My parents and grandparents certainly didn’t prepare me for my seventies. Our experiences are all different but maybe we can be there for each other just a little, and share the story we carry inside us.

DOS TORTAS

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Love At First Sight?

21 Sep

It was thirty-one years ago that she walked around the bar and into my life. Our friends nodded and smiled and knew it would never last. She was rough around the edges, not long out of the military. She smoked and drank and I did neither. I was twelve years older with three children. We both were still living with our exes. Not exactly a match made in heaven.

Our first Christmas 1994

And yet here we are, happier than ever, living our dream together. I’m not saying it hasn’t been work. We’ve learned to accept each other as we are, not tolerance but appreciation. There’s also the art of listening without feeling criticized and taking personal responsibility.

First Valentines Day 1995
Wedding photos 1999
Legal 2014

We have supported each other through major health crises, spending nights together in the hospital, even in one case, sleeping on the floor.

Back Surgery

All in all, it’s been a ride. Thirty-one years is worth celebrating. We certainly didn’t have a crystal ball that night in the bar when we laughed and flirted. If you’d have asked me if love at first sight existed I’d probably have scoffed. But ask me today, and I’d say yes, but it also takes a lot of damn work.

DOS TORTAS

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I Guess We Still Got It Going On

10 Aug

Whenever we travel, my caffeine addicted wife has to find out where she can get her morning fix. Many hotels have those cute little coffee makers in the room but our basic digs in Portland did not.

Our coffee haunt in Portlandia.

So every morning she got up early to tootle across the street only to return with two fist fulls of large coffees for our morning pick-me-up. On our last morning, my lovely announced upon her return, “I think the barista was hitting on me,” That got my attention and of course I wanted all the deets.

The use of a tried and true pickup line gave it away. “Are you here alone?” We had a good laugh, noting that the wedding ring and two cups of coffee was not a deterrent. I have seen both men and women flirt and/or hit on her over the years. Mostly she is pretty oblivious to how hot she is, having been happily coupled for thirty years.

When we first moved onto our property.
She hasn’t aged a bit.

In Austin a few days later we were meeting our niece for dinner. Lisa dropped me off in front of the restaurant and went to park the car. I sat at a tiny table next to two young men, MUCH younger than me. One of them struck up a conversation telling me that he liked my “look”. I didn’t realize that I had a look, but my orange, tiger patterned cane must be the newest fashion statement.

If you are an Instagramer you would know that the latest trend on social media is age disparate couples both homo and hetero. Some have 20-30 years between them. Lisa and I have twelve. Now I don’t really think the guy was hitting on me, but who knows. Maybe I also still have somethin going 😂 on.

DOS TORTAS

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Maybe We Should Be Smugglers

16 Feb

In 2018, Clint Eastwood made a movie THE MULE, based on the true story of an eighty something man who became a drug mule to pay off debt and ingratiate himself back into his estranged family. Of course no one suspected for a long time that a grizzled, elderly was moving cocaine.

At the same time Mr Eastwood was making his movie, Lisa and I were driving up Baja California on our way to help out with our new born twin granddaughters. We were stopped continuously while large German shepherds climbed through our truck. Apparently probable cause does not exist in Mexico. Quite the experience.

As time has gone on, twelve years to be exact, our hair has gotten grayer, and the number of random searches in our area have definitely increased. They’re probably due to our proximity to the border with Belize and the general insanity in the world.

Many foreigners get nervous at being pulled over by the military wearing ski masks and toting machine guns. We’ve seen it so often that we hardly pay any attention.

It must be our old white women privilege. We always slow down and wave as they flag us through. Even this week we passed through a new pop-up check point and inquiring eyes peered into the car and waved us on. I always crack jokes that “the drugs are in the back,” to which my wife hisses, “don’t jinx us.”

Apparently we don’t fall into whatever profile they’re looking for. IDK, I think we could make good smugglers. What do you think?

DOS TORTAS

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The Fire Breathing Down On You

19 Jan

There isn’t a person in the country who didn’t look around their house this week and wonder what they’d do with a fire breathing down on them and the urgent need to evacuate. Grab the animals and the kids, not necessarily in that order, and in some cases not much else.

Emotional Reunion

Then there was the fire fighter, digging through the rubble of his destroyed house to find his wedding ring. And he found it!

Many, us included have donated to displaced families, firefighters, community centers and food distribution volunteers. The homes that burned belonged to both gazillionairs and regular folks. What was once clusters of small towns melded together to create the sprawling City of Los Angeles. Such a sad and daunting task to rebuild.

I have tried several times to stuff a go-bag for each of us. Ours are mostly for trips to the hospital, which happens way too frequently with three older women. Bags must be kept up to date which is a job unto itself.

Once my leg allows me more mobility, the plan is to go through the house and do a thorough clean out. Aging is the fire breathing down our necks and no time like the present to face it,

DOS TORTAS

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Three Steps Forward Two Back

15 Dec

Healing is not a linear process. To do and not overdo takes trial and error and a lot of finesse. As I begin to put weight on my healing leg, pain and fatigue show up in unexpected ways and places.

In order to respect my body, I’m going to make this week’s blog short and sweet. I thought I’d post some of my artwork, none of which has been produced while I’ve been laid up. Stela has decided that my pens and sketchbook make a lovely place to nap.

Stela our blind pug.
One of my first attempts at painting on canvas.
A first abstract.
Collage
Much of my art is about the Laguna.
This one really spoke to me.
Mexican singer Lila Downs
Dark.

Have a good week, we got this!

DOS TORTAS

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What A Week What A Week

8 Dec

After two and a half months of being bound to my bed, and not in a fun way, Lisa and I ventured out of the house three times this week. While it might not seem like much to someone who can stand up and walk to the kitchen, it was a big deal for us.

When we built our house ten years ago, we built a ramp from our front door to the car. Our house itself is on one level but we live on a steep hill with parking up top.

Tropical paradise but not for a broken leg.

In true Mexican style, the ramp was built way too steep and not according to any regulations. Pushing my walker up it this week took strength and self control not to laugh.

Our three outings were 1) to the doctor.

The grey area is bone growth. Yeah.

2) A birthday party and…

Fun dinner with friends.

3) An hour drive to the coast to meet up with friends who were visiting Mexico by cruise ship.

Great friends from Austin.

So to say we are tired is an understatement. The doctor released me to begin putting weight on my leg in a week. Light at the end of the tunnel.

DOS TORTAS

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Discoveries Of The Bed Bound

3 Nov

Figuring out how to spend my time as I head into three additional weeks of R & R is a challenge. Thank God for Netflix where I have discovered Korean cinema. With a plethora of drama, romance and horror (I don’t do scary) I’m probably late to the game. Three programs have captured my interest or at least have kept me from loosing my mind.

  1. The Extraordinary Attorney Woo
Attorney Woo to the far right.

My favorite by a mile, Attorney Woo is a young woman entering her first professional job as a person with autism. The program captures attention with drama and sweet romance. It was almost binge worthy but I chose to stretch it out. I do hope they have a second season.

2. Culinary Class Wars

While I’m a sucker for cooking shows, this is my first foray into foreign reality cooking. Dubbed in English, both Michelin star chefs aka white spoons and lesser known black spoons compete in grueling cook-offs. The best one included a mound of tofu. While I didn’t know a lot of the ingredients, I’m ready to pack my bags for a taste-testing trip to Korea.

3) Physical 100

A reality show featuring world class athletes, body builders, martial artists and even actors who go up against each other to prove their physical prowess. I love how the show includes their internal dialogue which features a lot of trash talk and overly inflated self-confidence. As participants are winnowed from 100 to a final winner in both individual and team challenges, there are many exhausting twists and turns. Your ally becomes your enemy in a matter of minutes.

My surgeon has relegated me to bed rest for another three weeks before taking an additional diagnostic X-ray. Plenty of time to continue to explore the world of Korean cinema.

DOS TORTAS

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Even My Teeth Are Getting Old

26 May

I have made my life’s work studying health with a Master’s Degree in Health Education. Even before college, my bedside table was stacked with books on nutrition and exercise. I know to get enough sleep (however much that is), move my body and eat my veggies. This week I was blindsided by a health challenge that I wasn’t expecting, TEETH!

My mother had beautiful teeth. Unfortunately I didn’t inherit that trait.

I recall as a child walking solo to dentist appointments. Yikes. As an adult, I’ve probably spent a fortune on cleanings, fillings, extractions, root canals, and two bridges. I also had impacted wisdom teeth removed in college. Sadly I am not a candidate for implants.

Broken root.

I use the best electric toothbrush and floss twice daily. So the X-ray that revealed a broken root came as a shock and unexpected expense.

Our fancy new toothbrushes. I love them.
Old teeth, young hot dentist.

There’s so much no one has told us about aging. Many people are having knees and hips replaced. I’m having teeth. Call me naive but I never considered that fillings, caps, bridges etc. had a shelf life! Consider yourself forewarned. Take care of your teeth.

DOS TORTAS

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