Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

The Unexpected We Should Expect

26 Oct

If we do not see someone or talk to them in thirty years can we  still consider them a good friend? Are comments and posts on Facebook enough? Somehow I imagined running into him in a coffee shop and picking up the conversation where we left off. Memories, shared history and familiarity would bring us up to date. Where did the time go?

This week I lost that opportunity. Gareth found out two months ago that he had gallbladder cancer. It’s one of those nasty cancers that by the time you find out, it’s too late. It hit me like a punch in the stomach. I can’t imagine what it did to his wife and son.

I went to Gareth and Wendy’s wedding in 1983. My son was days old when I wrapped us both in a blanket and ventured out. It was April and one of those Texas spring days with the sun out and a blustery wind. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding in the Texas Hill Country

I called a mutual friend this week to make sure she knew of his passing . She reminisced of a road trip they took, camping along the way. “I had such a crush on him.” I think we all did.

A friend wrote on his FB page, “If I was told that as of yesterday there were no more mountains on earth, I think it would feel the way I feel hearing there is no more Gareth. It’s simply impossible. I love that guy. ❤️.” What a lovely sentiment.

His page is filling up with stories, sadness, and shock. He was such a dear person.

My “old” friend Gareth.

One more reason to be grateful for another day on this spinning rock. Farewell and adiós Gareth. To have been so loved is a life well lived. And we did not expect it.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

Getting To Know Mexico

19 Oct

In the 1970s in Mexico, it was quite easy to exist without a car. Buses passed regularly by every corner and first-class buses traveled from one city to the next. And it was cheap! Most people just didn’t have cars.

Even in Austin, I enjoyed using public transportation (PT). I like to people watch, and you really learn a lot about a place by mingling with people shoulder to shoulder. What better way than PT.

This week, I had to drop my car off in Chetumal, 40 minutes away for maintenance. Yes, we could have taken two cars, and Lisa could have followed and brought me home. Or I could take the colectivo. I chose the latter.

View from the back seat.

Colectivos aka taxis run back and forth between Bacalar and Chetumal. They hold four passengers squeezed together and depart only when full. The cost is about $3. I get a kick out of them. There is always AC and music blasting. They are so Mexican.

Maria de Jesus Rodriguez

This week, I met Maria, sitting next to me in the back seat. She is the head of the hotel and restaurant association of Bacalar. We yacked the whole way, and before I knew it, I was home. I love meeting random, interesting people while traveling. We exchanged numbers and plan to meet for coffee.

Riding in a colectivo.

In December we will attend our fourth Mexican wedding. They have ranged greatly in economic status. In December we will attend the small village wedding of our housekeeper. I’m really looking forward and honored to have been invited. One more way to celebrate our adopted country.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

Sharing The Story Within Us

12 Oct

“Aging is not for the weak. One day you wake up and realize that your youth is gone, but along with it, so go insecurity, haste, and the need to please… You learn to walk more slowly, but with greater certainty. You say goodbye without fear, and you cherish those who stay. Aging means letting go, it means accepting, it means discovering that beauty was never in our skin… but in the story we carry inside us.” Meryl Streep.

Beauty in the hood.

Almost thirteen years ago, I began this blog to shine a light for others who might like to follow and to let my family and friends know what we were up to on this adventure of living in Mexico. Little did I know how things would change.

You Tube, Instagram, Ticktock and god knows what else are overflowing with stories of people who have self deported. Much like we did, they sold everything, scooped up their families and relocated to an unfamiliar culture, language and environment.

More beauty.

Many are trying to romanticize it all. While I love Mexico, the struggle is real. At least we left by choice.

Our blog has evolved from the Adventures of Dos Tortas to the Aging of Dos Tortas. We are in as unfamiliar a territory as the deportees.

Some days I wonder why I continue to write. I guess I do it for me. My parents and grandparents certainly didn’t prepare me for my seventies. Our experiences are all different but maybe we can be there for each other just a little, and share the story we carry inside us.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

Making Dreams Come True

5 Oct

Years ago when I was trying to find myself as a newly minted “baby” dyke, I attended numerous women’s only events. The Michigan Women’s Music Festival blew my mind as I spent a week camping with a few thousand women in the woods of northern Michigan. Sisters were doin’ it for themselves, and I was agog.

View of the main stage.

Locally in Austin we had weekend gatherings that I eagerly participated in. At one retreat I recall joining in for an opportunity to let my mind wander and imagine the life I’d like to create. Eyes closed we were led through a dreamlike visualization process. I came away with a clear vision of living in a community of women. I saw myself wrapped in a towel able to walk to swim. Swimming has always been important to me and a big contributing factor to picking Bacalar and this beautiful Laguna. This week I was up early and capturing the sunrise that is particularly lovely this time of year. Enjoy.

Up before dawn.
Do you feel the heat from that sun?
Such expressive clouds.
Practicing my stroke.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

La Presidenta

28 Sep

Last week was the celebration of 215 years of Mexican Independence. It coincides with our anniversary and one year since my accident.

Mexico’s presidenta Claudia Scheinbaum

For the first time, a woman led the ringing of the bell of independence in the central square of Mexico City to the cheers of thousands of people. The color guard was made up of women. Claudia Sheinbaum, Mexico’s first woman president, gave a powerful speech which included men and women, both indigenous and historical, who built this country. 

https://youtu.be/S3_w59vgV5U

She also welcomed migrants. Her approval rating is close to 80% and she has become a respected world leader. Mexico isn’t perfect but no country is. I am proud to call it home.

Zocalo in Mexico City

DOS TORTAS

Love At First Sight?

21 Sep

It was thirty-one years ago that she walked around the bar and into my life. Our friends nodded and smiled and knew it would never last. She was rough around the edges, not long out of the military. She smoked and drank and I did neither. I was twelve years older with three children. We both were still living with our exes. Not exactly a match made in heaven.

Our first Christmas 1994

And yet here we are, happier than ever, living our dream together. I’m not saying it hasn’t been work. We’ve learned to accept each other as we are, not tolerance but appreciation. There’s also the art of listening without feeling criticized and taking personal responsibility.

First Valentines Day 1995
Wedding photos 1999
Legal 2014

We have supported each other through major health crises, spending nights together in the hospital, even in one case, sleeping on the floor.

Back Surgery

All in all, it’s been a ride. Thirty-one years is worth celebrating. We certainly didn’t have a crystal ball that night in the bar when we laughed and flirted. If you’d have asked me if love at first sight existed I’d probably have scoffed. But ask me today, and I’d say yes, but it also takes a lot of damn work.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , , , ,

When Did Thing Get So Weird

14 Sep

Two weeks ago I exchanged text messages with my sister-in-law and somehow the conversation went off the rails. She was angry, and probably didn’t appreciate me pointing it out to her LOL. I tried calling, thinking a conversation could clear up the misunderstanding. She did not answer and told me to “back off!”

My brother and I talk every weekend. It is an important relationship to me and I thought to him as well. It is now two weeks that he hasn’t taken my calls. This from the person who told me that if there is a problem, “people just need to talk it out.”

My mom surrounded by cousins and my brother.

I remember as a kid, going with my grandmother to visit her sister. They hadn’t spoken in years, long after either one of them remembered why. When my great aunt answered the door, there was a moment of, “what do YOU want?“ before they fell into each other’s arms with tears and mutual apologies.

My dynamo grandmother.

I don’t know what happened with my SIL. And I REALLY don’t know why my brother has gone silent. I have been sad and confused. I am far from perfect and if I say something hurtful or stupid, let’s talk it out.

At the same time, I will not let anyone steal my peace. As of today, I am done with the tears. If I have to, I will get on a plane and knock on their door. I don’t know how our relationships got to be so fragile. Maybe by the time this gets posted everything will be worked out. Fingers crossed.

DOS TORTAS

Addendum…I spoke with my brother today. I won’t go into details, but it was apparently a big misunderstanding on my part. While I don’t buy it, I’m willing to drop the subject. Such weird times we live in.

Tags: , ,

Una Obra De Arte – A Work Of Art

7 Sep

When our air conditioner went out last week, we contacted Mario who had done all the original electrical work on our house. He had worked with a handful of laborers to bring our vision of a home in Mexico into existence.

My favorite spot. Doors lead to our bedroom.
Hand woven Oaxacan rug hangs over our bed.

We hadn’t seen Mario in a while and he brought his wife to see our obra de arte, work of art. Watching his excitement at showing her around his work, gave me new eyes. Living in this house, I sometimes forget how beautiful it is.

Bathroom mural.
More of the bathroom mural.
Back gate with artist made angel ironwork.

I find that many houses in the US are beige, gray, black, white and brown with the occasional touch of color being a turquoise throw pillow. I find neutrality boring. Our house has blue floors! It was one of those risks that could have been a disaster but turned into a WOW. We forget how striking it is because, well, we live here.

Light fixtures.

Thank you Mario for reminding us what an obra de arte, work of art we live in.

Can you tell I love DOTD (Day of the Dead)?
A lovely day today.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , ,

Come In – But I Don’t Have Pants On

31 Aug

We were looking for a house sitter and found a friend. Whenever we leave our home in Mexico, we must find a house sitter, someone to care for the dogs and manage the house. Michelle was recommended after she had visited Bacalar last year. We found a real treasure.

Wannabe influencer.

We have had mixed results with previous house sitters. Walking out the door and handing the keys to the house and car to a virtual stranger is not without anxiety and consequences. We have been lucky and any damage over the last twelve years has been repairable.

Michelle added fun to anything she touched.

On several occasions we have found folks who have continued to be friends and returned to hang out on the lake and play with the dogs. But none like Michelle.

This crazy woman fit right into our quirky lives and we will miss her. We became “sisters” and Lisa’s mom became Mom to another daughter. Even the dogs have a new “Auntie Michelle.” She left on Friday with a promise to return. The house already feels empty.

Lisa’s Aunt Linda is also visiting.

Thank you Michelle for coming into our lives and being someone to talk to, a swimming companion, a dish washer, a sous chef and friend to Lisa’s mom. You have added laughter and companionship that we didn’t know we needed.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

This Week In Bacalar

24 Aug

I started back to physical therapy this week after six weeks of traveling and minimal exercise. The immediate goal is to walk without a limp and be able to step into my shorts one leg at a time. I’m coming up on a year since my accident and it’s time to kick the healing process into high gear.

Bathroom mirror selfie.

My physical therapist told me that in order to build muscle and improve balance, I need to work out HARD with weights and it’s going to hurt.

Multnomah Falls, Columbia River Gorge

He isn’t wrong. I hurt from my hair to my toes and I’m not even back at the gym yet. We hauled exercise equipment down from the States to Mexico and it’s been put to good use.

Our friends from Austin. This was my first outing after the accident. I was in a wheelchair.

I can now walk stairs, stepping one leg after the other, rather than relying on my uninjured side to do the heavy lifting. Hurray for small improvements, especially considering I only began walking with a cane the end of January. Thanks for all your encouragement and support. Little things make a difference.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Emilie Vardaman

travel and random thoughts

A Dead Kennedy

: A journal of a very slooow marathon swimmer

The Soulful Word

Intuitive copywriter + creative director: word whispering magic for personal brands

View From Casita Colibrí

gringa musings from a rooftop terrace in Oaxaca

Your Hand in Mind

Musings of a human factors engineer after her brain was released...

Adventures with LoLo

Surviving Yucatan

Smoothing out Mexico's rough spots.

Surviving Mexico

Adventures and Disasters

Perking the Pansies

Jack Scott's random ramblings

WordPress.com News

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.