Tag Archives: retire mexico

Rainy Season – Lessons in Going With the Flow

22 Sep

Having recently moved to the tropics of Southern Mexico from the desert-like climate of Central Texas, we initially loved the sweet little afternoon rain showers. But then the rain didn’t stop. For close to three weeks it rained, rained and rained some more. A tropical depression invaded the Yucatan in more ways than one. Hurricane Manuel pummeled Mexico from the Pacific and Ingrid from the Gulf. In Acapulco forty-thousand tourists were evacuated and mud slides swallowed a whole community. In Bacalar, the worst we had was mold, mosquitoes, a leaky roof and a few docks under water. It seems like all I had to do was think about my kayak to hear thunder. It’s creepy.

Many of the expats are on their summer jaunt to the US. The Tortas were spending way too much time on Facebook in this beautiful, strange land, so Thursday we decided to brave the elements and travel 2.5 hours to Tulum to visit our Austin friends Karen and Skip. It was a change of scenery and an excuse to ride in air conditioning. Living in the wilds of Tulum has its own challenges. Keeping the jungle from swallowing your house is a full-time job. We did head out to see if the beach had been washed away in the recent flooding, only to be blessed with a beautiful sunshiney walk. Nine months ago during our initial visit to Skip and Karen’s, we were exploring the possibility of making the move to Mexico. They took us to the same beautiful beach as a talisman for all the hard work ahead. Never could we have believed that in nine months our life would be completely different and we’d be living in Bacalar.

When rain flows, it can take everything in its path for a ride, even the Tortas. The opportunities to “let go” abound. We are continually letting go of an old way of life, as well as the expectations for this new one, and we are ever grateful for the occasional sunshine.

Finally the Sun!

Tulum Beach Nine Months Later

Tulum Beach Nine Months Later

Moon on Bacalar

Thought For the Day

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Can We Go Home Now?

8 Sep

Can we go home now? TRANSLATION – I need something familiar because I’m feeling insane.

Whether we move across town, across the country or across the globe, I think it’s common to want, at some point to click your ruby slippers and wish for “home”. It is definitely an adjustment to change home, job and language in the course of one week. We are definitely not in Kansas anymore. The truth is, Bacalar is our home and there’s no going back, nor do we want to. We just want the floor to quit shifting.

Lisa and I have both had boo-hooing meltdowns with unexplainable feelings which come out as, what the hell have we done? I don’t think I can do this, and I wanna go home! The good thing is that we don’t have them at the same time.

On Friday, our friends Karen and Skip came through Bacalar. They’d been in Austin and were on their way home to Tulum, two hours north of us. They have watched us go from cautious inquiry to “ta-da!” They have been where we are and offered sage advice, “get out some of your things that provide familiarity.”

There is so much about being here that is absolutely wonderful and we are very grateful. We have been provided transitional digs that are beautiful, comfortable, accommodating and free. I walk down twenty steps and glide my kayak into the most beautiful water on the planet, whenever the mood strikes me. I sit on the balcony early in the morning, drink Lisa-made coffee, watch beautiful noisy birds that I’ve yet to identify and observe the rising sun change the colors on the lake by the minute. The feelings of insanity will strike again no doubt. I ride the waves kicked up by a tropical shower as well as the swirl of emotions triggered by a life of the new and yet to become familiar.

This week it’s off to immigration. Yahoo! Do we apply as a married couple or individuals? Decisions, decisions. Stay tuned as the Tortas continue the adventure. As always, comments are appreciated.

DOS TORTAS

Our bedroom in Pehaltun, Bacalar, MX

Our bedroom in Pehaltun, Bacalar, MX

Where to put stuff?

Where to put stuff?

Live the Life of Your Dreams

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Down to Our Skivvies

28 Jul

I have been down to my skivvies two other times in order to seek adventure. Yes, I was a baby Torta long before I knew it. Once I moved halfway across the country and another, halfway around the world. In 1974, I arrived in Austin via Southwest Airlines. They had just celebrated their third year in business. The plane left Love Field in Dallas, propellers spinning with a little curtain between the pilots and the rest of us. I carried two suitcases to start my life as a University of Texas student. Three months prior, I had been in school in Central Mexico and was bemoaning the fact that I had to return to NJ. One of my teachers said, I know just the place for you. The University of Texas at Austin. Me – “ok” and that was that. Long before the days of Google, I knew nothing about my chosen destination. A friend back home flashed this weird hand configuration when I told them my plans and exclaimed, hook ’em horns. Me – “ok”.

On the plane, I quizzed my seat mates as to how far it was to the University from the airport. They gave me a look and a ride to the housing office and bid me good luck. I had almost no money and no idea where I was going to sleep. Ah, those were the days. The sweet woman in the housing office found me a couch in a University co-op. I was a couch surfer before the term was coined. Half of the residents came in at 3am and the other half got up at 5am, but the price was right.

August will be 39 years since that adventurous arrival. The time has been peppered with a two-year stint in Japan and vacations to Belize, Mexico, Thailand, Greece and Turkey. Pulling up roots and moving on is long overdue. The closets are empty as is the attic. My final day at work is Wednesday. In another week we should have a departure date.

SW Airlines Ad 1974 SW Airlines Entices
Hookem Hookem

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Image

Goes to Mexico

21 Jul

All along as we prepared for our life changing move to Mexico, we’ve been dividing possessions into what goes to Mexico and what doesn’t. Books, winter clothing, furniture, photos, children’s report cards, yarn, yarn and more yarn, gone to Craig’s List, Goodwill, Half Price Books, shipped to adult children and sold at garage sales. At the same time, we’ve been wrapping, boxing, labeling, weighing and giving value to the rest of our possessions. Labels must be in English and Spanish and added to a spreadsheet for review by imigre as we cross the border.

So what ARE we taking? yarn (of course) camping equipment, tools, exercise equipment and CDs, casual clothing (I’m going to burn all my work clothes LOL) some furniture, rugs, quilts, art, kitchenware, Lisa’s new TV and my new sewing machine, two kayaks, water skis and assorted prized possessions. All must fit in our 6×10 cargo trailer and in the back of our truck and weigh less than 7K pounds. Once we are all locked and loaded we will take off for our 28 hour drive to San Antonio, Laredo, Monterrey, Puebla, Villahermosa and Bacalar. Photos will be taken and experiences blogged. At this time we have no estimated date of departure. It will be soon, VERY soon. Stay tuned and as always, comments are appreciated.

Packing containers

Packing containers

Goes to Mexico

Goes to Mexico

Cargo Trailer

Cargo Trailer

Route to Bacalar – http://goo.gl/maps/13Xoq

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Life is Better When You Play

7 Jul

My youngest son Dylan hated to have his diapers changed when he was little. Before I could fasten them at his hip he would flip over and crawl away from me at the speed of light on chubby little hands and knees. I would grab his ankle in a power struggle that he would loose and we both would hate. One day, I spontaneously grabbed a paper bag mask that my older son had made at school and popped it on my head. My baby lay mesmerized by the eye holes and jagged teeth, while I quickly fastened his diaper. Voila, struggle averted.

Dylan also would talk to puppets. Putting a sock puppet on my hand, I would stand behind the door with arm extended and he would carry on a conversation with my talking hand. Puppet – “Mom just doesn’t understand, right?” Dylan – “Yeah!” in a teary little voice he poured out his heart. We worked out many problems talking to the hand.

But the biggest problem was getting Dylan and his brother out of the community pool on those hot Texas afternoons. They loved to swim and treated each day as if it were their last opportunity ever and held on to the moment for dear life. In an effort to avoid the usual anger, threatening, and arm-tugging style of parenting that I resorted to in those days, I asked them if they wanted to play a game. Little eyes looked up at me with interest. I told them that I was a mama lion and they were my babies and there were hunters that we needed to avoid to get home safely. I took off on the adventure to find them running to keep up. We traversed the neighborhood from bush to stick tree, to the corner of a neighbor’s house, crouched low and whispering…shhh we must be quiet so the hunters don’t see us. We arrived home to snacks in a happy mood and my children didn’t seem to know or care that I’d pulled a fast one. I was the one who learned something important. Life is always more fun when we play.

Yesterday was a day packed with activity. We got up early, cleaned, ran errands, grocery shopped, and showed the house twice to perspective buyers. At seven o’clock, we finally sat to an anticipated quiet evening. Within minutes our friends called to remind us of a dinner invitation that we had completely forgotten. We were thirty minutes late! Oh, well, off we went again, laughing at our oversight. We had a wonderful dinner and appreciated our friends who worked hard to connect with us before we are “outta here”. The day ended with many items checked off our to-do list and a lovely dinner with friends. We played, laughed and avoided the hunters. Mission accomplished.

Dylan still loves the pool.

Dylan still loves the pool.

Dylan and his son Hunter.

Dylan and his son Hunter.

My Son and his family

Our Son and his family

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If Men Wore Skirts

9 Jun

Can you imagine going to work, or to the grocery store or church and seeing men wearing skirts? Now imagine how our world would have to change for skirt-wearing men to be the norm. There would be gender equality and a balance of power? Pink and blue beanies would not be the uniform at birth? A lot would have to change in our country to see men comfortable enough to wear skirts.

The change going on in OUR lives isn’t quite as dramatic, but sometimes it feels like it is. We are letting go of all things familiar, jobs, family, neighbors, friends, a home of almost 18 years in a city where I’ve lived since I was 22 years old. I am getting rid of the old, the borrowed and the blue. And I wonder why I feel tense. One week I blog about being fearless and the next, about being stressed out. Arghhhhhhhh.

Because I am committed to honesty I tell you that this is NOT easy. Even though we both want it, have planned it, are excited about the move and the life that we are going to, my body somehow resists. I have been to the doctor who told me that my heart and BP are fine. I meditate, exercise, eat well and get enough sleep. Am I scared? I can’t imagine of what. We have no deadlines really. Things will work out fine however they do. “This too shall pass” is my mantra. I also tell myself that feeling this pressure in my chest is NOT a character flaw. I cannot control the anxiety I feel as much as I want to argue with my body that, “this doesn’t make sense!!” It is what it is and sharing my experience with you helps relieve the pressure. I don’t KNOW it all and I don’t want to appear as if I’ve got it all figured out, because I DON’T. There is a message here that I want to be open to. Perhaps if I do more listening than talking I will hear what it is. This last thought only came to me as I wrote it now. So I get to be fearless in listening to my body. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Enjoying a Sunny Lake Bacalar Day

Enjoying a Sunny Lake Bacalar Day

My Daughter's Wedding 5/13

My Daughter’s Wedding 5/13

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Living Fearlessly

26 May

If you want to be an honorary Torta, I suggest looking at your response to fear. Miedo is a funny thing. Our parents used it to control us when we were pequeños. It kept us from crossing a busy street or talking to a stranger when we were six years old. But for many people, long after our parents’ voices are gone, fear rules our lives. When I tell people that we are moving to Mexico, the inevitable first pregunta es, “aren’t you afraid?”. I find it difficult not to say something snarky about the fear of movie theaters in Colorado or shopping malls in Arizona.

Am I ever afraid? Of course, but it’s what I strive to DO in the face of uncertainty that allows me to move forward. First, I’ve made a choice NOT to be afraid, about anything. On Friday I rode my scooter to work not realizing we were supposed to get a storm that dumped two inches of rain on Austin streets. When I checked radar saying that it wasn’t a brief shower, I got off work early to beat the Friday afternoon, holiday traffic. I took my time riding home in a monsoon-like downpour. Las calles were flooding and I felt myself getting tense. But when I became aware of my body’s response, I took some breaths, relaxed my shoulders and said, “no fear, you’ll be fine”. Surprisingly I let go and enjoyed la lluvia bonita while choosing less traveled streets and arriving home safely.

Not being afraid is about confronting the lies I tell myself in my head. “You’re going to die.” Is it true? Yes, but not today if I can help it. I make different choices, take calculated risks, relax, have fun, and learn lessons.

When exploring moving to Mexico, I researched the risk of violence and found that Mexico is actually a very safe country. While the drug violence makes the news, it exists primarily in the border area and rarely involves gringos. Mexico is a large country, three times the size of Texas. It has a very diverse environment, big cities, mountains, high desert, and tropical jungles. There is a rich history of ancient civilizations and invasions from Spain, France, and the US. Today it has a public transportation infrastructure that allows easy access to all corners and travelers from Canada, Europe, Russia etc. flock to the beaches, pyramids, museums, mercados and night life.

My grip on Austin is lessening, yet I haven’t quite grabbed on to Mexico. I am somewhere in that middle place of uncertainty, not here and not yet there.

Sometimes taking flight takes letting go.
Letting go takes faith.
Faith takes letting go.
It all requires wings.
And so it goes. Patti Digh “Life Is A Verb”

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao-tsu

Laguna Bacalar

Enjoying a perfect day on Lake Bacalar.

Sun Setting

Sunset

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Starry Starry Nights

19 May

As a child, I spent many evenings gazing skyward, with my father pointing out constellations…the Big Dipper, Orion, Cassiopeia. I never could see Draco the dragon and finally said, “yes Daddy” to stop the pointing and the neck strain. In Mexico I visited the Mayan pyramids of Palenque, home to the ancient astronomers and was awed by the night sky. Moving to Austin to attend the University of Texas, I needed a science elective and choose Astronomy. I stood on the roof of the math-science building for my final exam in 1975…Taurus, Pleiades, Andromeda, you could see stars then. I’ve always loved the dark. I walk in my neighborhood before dawn and wish the neighbors would turn off their porch lights and the city, the street lights. I just want to see the night sky. The stars of Big Bend National Park had me laying out and feeling insignificant and pondering the universe. I managed to travel home from Big Bend by way of the McDonald Observatory, high in the Davis mountains. It was beautiful even though the sky wasn’t that clear and prompted our usual conversation, “Could we live here?”.

The sky that affected me the most was in Thailand. Lisa and I had taken a three-day trek into Northern Thailand at the foot of the Himalayas. We hiked into villages where people spoke indigenous languages. The second night we stayed in a hut perched on the side of a mountain. I got up for my usually visit to the bathroom and stepped onto a balcony under the stars like I had never seen before. I immediately woke Lisa and dragged her out to gaze skyward and point. She is a good sport and stood with me as I missed my dad and wished he could have seen a display of stars he didn’t know existed.

As I ticked off my list of requirements for where we were to retire, I needed the dark, a place to see stars. I was initially disappointed staying in Bacalar, where the sky wasn’t very clear and I could see light pollution coming across the lake from Chetumal. So much seemed perfect and I was afraid that I was going to have to choose between a beautiful lake or a starry starry night. A visit to Teresa, our soon-to-be neighbor changed all that. We sat on her porch making small talk, imagining our own porch on the adjacent property overlooking the lake. Saying our good-byes at the front door, I looked up and saw a sky that rivaled Thailand. That’s when I knew this was where I wanted to live the rest of my life, in the dark and under the stars.

Light Pollution

Light Pollution

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Feliz Cinco Ya’ll

5 May

Cinco de Mayo is celebrated in Austin by waving green, white and red Mexican flags. So much so that I once heard someone point to a Mexican flag and refer to it as a “Cinco de Mayo” flag. It’s a day for family, friends, eating tacos, listening to conjunto and drinking cerveza. Few know what the holiday is really about. When living in Mexico, I visited the Fort de Puebla where a fight for independence took place in 1864. The French, with their highly trained forces thought they had a cake walk in taking over Mexico. A rag-tag militia of about 500 strategically placed Mexican soldiers proved them wrong. Mexico’s independence took years of battles with French, Spanish, US, and British troops. It’s no wonder everyone celebrates a win by the underdogs.

But Cinco is a celebration of much more than the Battle of Puebla. It’s the celebration of a strong, proud, independent people who love to celebrate just about anything. As a youngster from New Jersey, I was wary of a picnic in a cemetery for Day of the Dead. It was a delightful day that allowed me to experience another culture in a very personal way. There are birthdays, saint days, quinceñeras, religious holidays, Sunday picnics, and many more events that I hope to learn about and participate in.

We continue to pack containers, take books to Half Price, have dinner with friends and plan our escape. There are no “final” goodbyes. Just about everyone is invited to visit. So if you think that southern Yucatan may be a vacation destination in your future, get your passport, practice your Spanish and bring a “celebration state-of-mind”, and remember your hammock.

Alex Enjoying a Sunny Lake Bacalar Day Alex enjoying a sunny Lake Bacalar day
Sunset on the Bay of Chetumal Sunset on the Bay of Chetumal

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Have fun * learn stuff * breathe * repeat

28 Apr

The Adventure of Dos Tortas has required endless planning, list making, scheduling, re-scheduling; it’s mind boggling! My Excel spreadsheet is long gone, replaced by a calendar on the dining room table. BTW, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s almost May! With a goal of leaving town by September 1, vamanos muchachos.

This past week saw two HUGE checks off of THE LIST (at least in my head). I found an outfit for my daughter’s wedding! Planning a wedding in the middle of our “adventure” hasn’t been the easiest. I am thrilled for my daughter and she and her fiance are doing all the work themselves. Finding the perfect outfit had me more stressed than I could have imagined and my goal is “NO STRESS”. So, wedding outfit, CHECK.

Actually, the biggest and most stressful, at the top of our to-do list and the least under our control has been the sale of our house in Bastrop, TX. This week we got an offer with a contract. Selling this house has required much faith and breathing and frankly not much fun. We learned that all the best planning still didn’t come out the way we expected. It’s been a real nail biter and a lesson in living with uncertainty. Even though we don’t close until June, it’s a huge CHECK off of my list.

…and now, reminders of why we’re doing all this:

Large tree along the lake.

Large Tree Along Laguna Bacalar.

Big lush bromeliads

Big lush bromeliads – Casita Carolina

Growing everywhere

Yellow Flowers Growing Everywhere

Blooming Succulent Hummingbird Attractor

Blooming Succulent Hummingbird Attractor

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