Tag Archives: retire mexico

Stella Rules The World

29 Jun

None of us is getting any younger. I am seventy-three, and my spouse of thirty years is sixty-one. My mother-in-law who lives with us is eighty-one. Our dogs Stella (pug) and Luna (mix), whom we adore, both turn ten this year.

We had a friend Patty who fell three years ago Christmas. She hit her head and died. Her much older, cantankerous, whiskey guzzling, cigar smoking, big bellied husband, whom she cared for, is still alive today. None of us knows how much time we have.

Patty and her beloved Bonita.

There is a fine line between living in the moment and being prepared for the inevitable. Lisa and I have Wills and Powers of Attorney. But we also go to the gym most days and eat a lot of salads.

Not bad for seventy-three.

This past weekend, Stella quit eating. Now if you know anything about pugs, you know that they live to eat. About an hour before her daily meal time, she vehemently reminds us that she is starving and her demise is eminent. Seeing her turn and walk away from dinner had our anxiety up and Lisa frantically searching the internet for a possible explanation.

Our little blind pug.

When I was a kid, we had a dachshund name Fritz. Every summer he went camping with us. I’m not sure why Mom didn’t bring his usual wet food but he’d get dry food on the road. Inevitably he’d turn up his nose and refuse to eat. My mother’s attitude was quite different from ours. “When he’s hungry enough, he’ll eat”. She’d pick up the untouched food and present him with it the next mealtime. Of course she was right and eventually he ate.

Fritz looked quite similar to this handsome chap.

We’ll never know how long Stella would have held out. The conversation quickly turned to taking her to the vet. She had never skipped a meal in her life. With suggestions from the online world, we removed her slow-eating bowel and simplified her food. And of course she’s back enthusiastically snarfing down her dinner.

That princess has us wrapped around her paw. When she eventually crosses the rainbow bridge we will take it very hard. But for now she is doing quite well and so are we.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , ,

A Rose By Any Other Name

22 Jun

You better take notes, because this is going to be a wild ride.

When I was born, my birth certificate read Alice (after my grandmother) Ann Hoeft. I started school and my mother insisted that the nuns call me Alice Ann. It was the same with any other person I met. She corrected them if they called me Alice. I’m sure she loved the name, but it never felt like me.

When I married in 1982, my husband wanted me to take his last name, as women for years have been convinced, is in their best interest. Thus I became Alice Ann Fisher.

When I came out, in my forties, I had had enough and legally changed my name to Alex. I loved it. No more explaining or correcting. Thus, Alex A Fisher was born. It is the name I have used for thirty years and is on my passport, driver’s license, bank accounts and social security card, etc. Most people in my life have never heard this story and know me only as Alex.

A few weeks ago I applied for a birth certificate from the State of New Jersey. That’s when the fun began. I understand that I must explain my name changes from birth to present. I have the legal document that changed my name from Alice to Alex. But I didn’t have a marriage certificate to support changing my name to Fisher. No problemo, I spoke to a lovely woman at Travis County Clerk’s Office in Texas and she sent me an official copy with gold star and raised seal.

I submitted the marriage document and a slew of other records to prove my identity to VITAL RECORDS ONLINE, the agency that screens for the State of New Jersey, my birth state. I almost immediately received an email stating that a Marriage License is NOT a Marriage Certificate which is required.

I called Travis County and another lovely clerk informed me that the document they sent me is in fact a marriage certificate and the only thing they have. Reading the document closely one clearly sees that a union was performed, signed by a judge and certified by the State of Texas.

I stated all this to Vital Records and they began to sound more like Broken Records. Since they weren’t reading my emails, I tried to call per their friendly “if you have any questions please call” phone number. Yeah, that didn’t work. After kindly telling me that there was a thirty minute wait and press ‘1’ for this and ‘2’ for that, I gave up trying to talk to a human being.

A few days later, I got another email from Vital Records telling me that I can submit the Marriage License but it may be rejected by NJ and asking how I wanted to proceed. I didn’t see any other option so I told them to continue.

It’s hard to express my frustration without using a lot of colorful language. Not much disturbs my peace these days, but this week was a doozie. It will take awhile before I find out if I get my birth certificate and don’t even ask me how much it all cost.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

Here We Go Again

15 Jun

In 1973 I came to Mexico to participate in a “junior year abroad” college program. I was twenty-one and knew nothing of Mexican history, culture or US/Mexico relations. So the morning I sat with three fellow students on the zocalo in Puebla, sipping cafe con leche and munching unfamiliar breakfast pastries remains fixed in my memory.

The portales in the center of Puebla.

We were newly arrived and felt very grown up experiencing a new and magical world. Across the street was a large park (zocalo) and on the other side of the square, a cathedral.

It was a beautiful day when suddenly everything changed.

From a distance we heard an unrecognizable sound approaching. It grew louder and turned into a ruckus. What at first appeared to be a parade, in actuality was an angry mob banging pots, chanting and dragging an effigy of Uncle Sam hanging by the neck. To say we were terrified is an understatement. The four of us took off running, zig-zagging down side streets and putting distance between us and the protesters. In retrospect we were not in any danger, but of course we didn’t know that.

I have no knowledge of what the protest was about. The US and Mexico have never been the best of friends. It was the time of Richard Nixon, Watergate and gas shortages in the US. I fully expected to return home to a revolution. We all know how that turned out.

Here I am again in Mexico reading about protests in the US and not able to participate. If we were there, Lisa would probably have to lock me in the bedroom to keep this 73 year old woman from joining in. My days of marching against the Vietnam war and participating in university sit-ins are long gone. I’m glad there are others to take up the gauntlet.

I can’t believe our country is again taking to the streets in protest. Past actions helped put an end to the Viet Nam war. This time it’s not just young people protesting. Hopefully the outcome will have results in the ballot box.

Anti-war protesters 1970s. I’m probably in that crowd somewhere

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

A Plague Of Ranas (Frogs)

8 Jun

I wouldn’t exactly call it a plague but I have escorted four frogs out of the house this week. Where? How? I have no idea. I flicked the light on in the pantry and there at eye level sat a small tree frog. I wanted to go for my camera but I was afraid it would jump and then I’d spend the rest of the night looking for it. I grabbed a yogurt container and carefully slid the lid underneath. After gingerly placing it outside, I returned to turn off the light and THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE! sitting in almost the same spot. Was my mind playing tricks on me? IDK but I repeated the capture and released the bugger outside. If it hadn’t been the third and fourth frog I had captured this week, I’d surely have been ready for the looney bin.

Cute little critters. Stock photo.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

Almost Summer In The Tropics

1 Jun

Looking back at the blog from a year ago I realize that this is certainly the hot time of the year on the Costa Maya. We are over due for a storm.

Cooling off. This week’s weather predictions

If the coming week’s predictions are correct, we just might get that storm. Weather in Bacalar is anything but predictable. There can be a downpour three miles away and we don’t get a drop of rain. Such is life in the tropics.

Meanwhile, around the property,

Lizards who hang out on our compost pile.
Blooming cactus.

During this hot time of year, there isn’t much energy to do anything. I went back to the gym this week. I’m determined to get stronger. My body is seriously objecting.

As we head into summer on this first day of June, find someplace to swim, eat a light supper under the stars, and toast to almost half way through 2025.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , ,

A Good Accent

25 May

I had a teacher in high school, Mrs Fran Durst. A foreign language was required in those days and for some reason, I chose Spanish.

Graduation photo 1970. I was cute.

I liked Mrs Durst. She was young and fun. One day she made a comment to me that has stayed with me and possibly changed the trajectory of my life. “You have a good accent”.

I don’t remember getting many compliments for school performance. I wasn’t a highly motivated student. But a good accent was a natural talent. I could hear nuance and mimic it. And she was right, I DO have a good accent.

https://lingopie.com/blog/a-quick-guide-to-understanding-mexican-spanish-accents/

I have tried to find Mrs Durst numerous times with no success. I’d like to tell her that I now speak very well. I can carry on a conversation, speak on the phone, understand enough to get by at a doctor’s appointment, and get the car repaired. My reading skills are not the best but I constantly look up words and add them to my vocabulary.

My high school.

Thank you Mrs Durst. I’d love to let you know how much your words shaped my life. I live full time in Mexico and yes, I do have a good accent.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , ,

Three Funerals

18 May

Moving to a country that is not our origin takes effort that we did not always foresee. For almost twelve years we have attempted to make friends and create relationships. Some lessons learned –

  1. Traveling “home” to maintain relationships is not as easy as we thought, especially as we age.
  2. People/family do not visit. Travel these days is just not easy.
  3. Most of the people we met and socialized with in the early years of living in Bacalar have moved on. Aging in place has challenges we didn’t foresee.
  4. We’ve made friends with locals and treasure the connections. Barriers have lessened as our language skills have improved.

Another way we have built relationships is by showing up.

In the US, workers and managers don’t really mix, classism at its finest. Things are more muddled here. The economic disparity with the US allows us to hire help with cleaning and house maintenance. Workers take pride in their jobs and we pay them well.

This week we bumped into a friend who has been our massage therapist for many years. She said that her mother was dying and burst into tears. Two days later, our gardener asked for time off since his mother-in-law died. It was Lisa who put it together that they were related. We didn’t know!

Gathering of family and neighbors.

We saw the surprise in peoples’ faces as we showed up to a backyard where a coffin sat to one side marked with candles and flowers. My grandmother taught me that when someone dies you show up, so we did.

Trying to be discreet does not produce the best pictures.

The next day we attended the funeral mass.

It was the third funeral we’ve attended in Mexico. Having a coffin set up in your home is not something we’re used to in the US. In Bacalar, neighbors and family sit together, keeping vigil, telling stories, and eating. We did not stay long, but we showed up and contributed to the expense.

The church of San Joaquin

Attending funerals has made us a part of a world that is very different from ours. We did not expect that this is how we would connect. There will likely be many more in our future.

DOS TORTAS

Bacalar Panteón

Tags: , , ,

Mexican Markets Make Me Happy

20 Apr

There’s nothing like a Saturday morning spent exploring a little neighborhood mercado. This particular one is a favorite of ours. There are plants blooming, music that makes you want to dance and many food vendors filling the air with their enticing aromas.

From top left, my MIL, a pineapple, bougainvillea and spicy habanero peppers.

One of my favorite things to do is to strike up a conversation with locals. They are so curious about us foreigners and when they find someone who can speak Spanish, the questions come pouring out, especially about current US politics.

My favorite tropical fruit, guanábana aka soursop. Creamy and delicious.
Sweet tamale with raisins.

Sampling this tamale brought happy tears to my eyes. Tamales in the tropics are made in banana leaves. These tamales were advertised as estilo de DF or made in the style of central Mexico, cooked in corn husks. They tasted exactly like the ones my Mexican mama made for me to celebrate my twenty-first birthday in 1973. It’s funny how a taste or smell can take you back.

No market day would be complete without a frenchie. This stunning brindle was a bruiser named Thor or in Spanish Tor.

An abundance of color. Papayas and limes.

My mobility is still limited but this was a great way to test my limitations, A really fun morning.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , , ,

Vacation Memories Continued

6 Apr

Our trip to Cape Hatteras, North Carolina in 1961 holds the fondest vacation memories for me. An eight and a half hour drive from New Jersey, I don’t know how my parents did it with five kids and my cousin Pat. The NC coast was our destination with its picturesque lighthouse, sand dunes and museum of the Wright Brothers, who got the first airplane off the ground at Kitty Hawk.

1903
Keeping sand out of the tent was a full-time job.

My Dad, ever the nature lover, had us up at dawn to take a guided nature walk along the beach, peering into tide pools, collecting shells and tromping through marshlands.

Hatteras Lighthouse

One day we took a ferry to the Outer Banks. We spent the day at the State Park, swimming, building sand castles and getting sun burned. In line for the ferry back to our campsite we discovered that one of two ferries had run aground on a sandbar. We waited for hours, out of drinking water and food, expecting to have been back for dinner.

The ferry present day.

As the afternoon wore on, my mother decided to take the five kids, youngest age three to ride the ferry and walk back to the campground. Dad and brother William (8) were to stay with the car. Sounded like a plan.

Coquina shells found along the Outer Banks beach.

The trouble was, by the time the ferry docked across the bay, and our little troop off loaded, the sun had set, leaving us to navigate a gravel road, in the dark. As children are prone to do, we had left our shoes in the car. My poor mother.

Blue crabs were prolific. My mother’s favorite.

Somehow we made it. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches never tasted so good. Then my mother did something totally amazing, at least to me. She opened a can of grape juice. I’m sure we were all dehydrated but juice was a rare treat in those days. My mother’s job was to save all year and pinch pennies to make our vacation happen. She was the finance person. That night, she doled out grape juice like fine wine.

The memory stays with me to this day.

DOS TORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

Time For An Adventure

30 Mar

With the majority of our outings of late to the doctor, dentist and physical therapist, I needed a bit of adventure. The Free Zone is a 28.5 acre duty-free shopping area between Mexico and our neighbor Belize, about 30 minutes from our door. It is known for cheap clothing, alcohol, perfume and household goods from China, Hong Kong and godknowswhere.

I am not a shopper. My current limited mobility isn’t the only thing that keeps me from walking the streets and perusing the aisles. I did however need a few things that I’ve been unable to find in Bacalar and neighboring Chetumal.

I haven’t been to the Free Zone in years, but the last time I bought a handful of gauzy cotton dresses that are great for tropical weather. They’ve all been worn out of existence and turned into rags. Time for replacements. There is also an international grocery store that carries Indian spices and many uncommon things (uncommon to this part of Mexico). I fulfilled my quest to find miso (Japanese) and black salt (Indian).

Three for $10.

I drove into the Free Zone and immediately found a parking space, which is unheard of. I found my dresses and then used a tuk tuk to get around. It beat me trying to maneuver in unfamiliar territory.

20p or $1.00 minimum

The adventure was complete with lunch at a hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant and google directions back across the Mexican border. A quick once over by immigration and back on the road to Bacalar and an uneventful ride home.

I’m not sure what I ate, but it took some convincing that I didn’t want meat. The dish was very spicy.

We like uneventful.

DOS DORTAS

Tags: , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Emilie Vardaman

travel and random thoughts

A Dead Kennedy

: A journal of a very slooow marathon swimmer

The Soulful Word

Intuitive copywriter + creative director: word whispering magic for personal brands

View From Casita Colibrí

gringa musings from a rooftop terrace in Oaxaca

Your Hand in Mind

Musings of a human factors engineer after her brain was released...

Adventures with LoLo

Surviving Yucatan

Smoothing out Mexico's rough spots.

Surviving Mexico

Adventures and Disasters

Perking the Pansies

Jack Scott's random ramblings

WordPress.com News

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.