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It’s All About Communication and Therein Lies The Problem

31 Aug

I have always thought I was a good communicator, which of course is the problem. Anytime we’re good at something, it makes it harder to learn.

I have made presentations and conducted training in a room filled with hundreds of people, once with standing room only. My expertise was men and family planning, the needs of young fathers, and the role of routine HIV testing in a reproductive health setting. Maybe if I had a PowerPoint presentation I could communicate better, LOL.

Sunrise near our property.

Sunrise near our property.

The trouble is, I don’t usually know there’s a problem until it hits me upside the head. Have you ever had a conversation with someone, a co-worker, spouse or one of your kids and felt like you were each speaking a different language? It’s like that here, because we ARE! Even someone who has a reasonable command of English, doesn’t really. It’s the same with my Spanish. It’s about so much more than words.

We’re trying to build a house. We are unfamiliar with the procedures in Mexico. As foreigners, the bank holds title to our property, even though it’s paid for. We must give the bank power of attorney to sign all kinds of documents to get permission to build. It’s the way things are done. This week I felt like I was living in that old Abbott and Costello routine, “Who’s On First”. It helps to have a sense of humor, but frustrating when the house we thought we’d be living in by now, hasn’t started construction. Not by a long shot.

While I realize this sounds like complaining and breaking the “no complaining in paradise” rule, I hope it isn’t. I love where I live. The process may be moving along at a snail’s pace but it’s moving. This week I sat on our soon to be neighbor’s patio and looked at where our house will stand. I looked at the lake and listened to the birds and could visualize living right here. I could FEEL it.

The view from our dock.

The view from our dock.

Folks ask often how the house is coming along and I have avoided discussing it. The answer is slowly, very slowly, often due to a failure to communicate.

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The Benefits of Struggling to Learn Spanish

10 Aug

The New York Times recently posted an op-ed called The Benefits of Failing at French. I can relate.

In 1973, with the already aging brain (linguistically speaking) of twenty-one, I began the lifelong journey of learning a second language. I came to Mexico in the fulfillment of a childhood dream to experience my junior year abroad. I lived with a Mexican family who spoke no English. I had classes four hours a day, four days a week and drank mucho cerveza to loosen the tongue. Over the long weekends and breaks, I traveled as much as possible and fell in love with a culture and people that were difficult to explain when I returned to New Jersey.

Sunset in Cozumel.

Sunset in Cozumel.

In the more than forty years that have passed, I have both clung to and completely forgotten my desire to return to Mexico. As I began entertaining thoughts of retirement, memories of living here ignited fireworks and the rest is, shall we say, her-story.

Crossing the border almost a year ago woke the Spanish synapses that were more than a bit rusty. Those old feelings of my brain aching and not being able to remember words in either language came roaring back. I am happy to report that my Spanish has greatly improved in a year. I have resisted studying and have chosen to learn by practicing. I have conversations in Spanish as often as I can and find that my brain hurts less these days. Yesterday I even had a conversation on the phone, which I usually avoid, as there is no opportunity to read lips. I must admit that when friends comment on my improvement, I want to preen my feathers and crow.

Hotel La Semilla in Playa del Carmen from our recent visit.

Hotel La Semilla in Playa del Carmen from our recent visit.

Lisa had no ability to speak Spanish, other than the curse words picked up on a job site, when we arrived last September. Her first vocabulary words were highway signs on the drive down. Her learning approach has been different from mine. She uses a popular set of educational CDs and a workbook that I bought her. She now converses with locals and orders easily in a restaurant. The reason for her skill is that she doesn’t give up and she isn’t afraid to make mistakes. Our friend’s parents call her the parrot because she uses her thirty or so words, hugs them and leaves. They see her progress and love her effort. More than one of us has something to crow about.

Sunrise this week on Laguna Bacalar.

Sunrise this week on Laguna Bacalar.

So I recommend that you read the New York Times article and don’t miss the comments. Our brains need the challenge. Our changing world needs us to understand one another. What better way than to learn another’s language. And I’ve heard that the third language even gets easier, no matter what age you are.

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Bicycle Bacalar – Número Dos

20 Jul

When we arrived in Bacalar, Mexico for the first time almost two years ago, we had our rose-colored glasses on. We saw what we wanted to see, a small eclectic village situated on the most beautiful lake in Mexico. Yes, the streets were bumpy, the houses run down, and there was lots of trash. But that’s Mexico, no? The people were warm and welcoming. We fell in love from the get-go and decided that we could be happy living here.

As we round the corner on our one-year anniversary as full time Bacalareñas, we’ve noticed many changes in our little town. The streets are cleaner. Roads are being repaired and beautification is everywhere.

The number one improvement for me is that there is now a place to recycle plastic. We see people picking up discarded bottles from the roadway. It will take time for recycling to catch on, but I have hopes.

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Lisa is appreciating the new tables and benches recently constructed near Fort San Felipe in the center of town. They are perfect for an afternoon picnic in the shade while enjoying lake breezes.

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These wonderful Mayan carvings have been erected at every intersection for a half mile along the southern road into Bacalar. They are lit at night and each one is unique and beautiful. The stelae pay homage to a rich heritage for visitors and locals alike.

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The road leading out of Bacaler to the north has new street lights, a pedestrian walkway, freshly painted curbs and a modern bus stop. We often see people sitting on the benches watching the world go by.

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Hats off to the new presidente of our municipality, Don Chepe. His heart, vision and hard work have improved the beauty and quality of life for the people of Bacalar. How often can we say that for an elected public official? Bravo.

Bicycling Bacalar – Practical and Spiritual

13 Jul

I find that living in small town Bacalar, Mexico, population 11,000 is an endless opportunity to be curious. I am curious about my chosen neighbors whose lives are very different from mine. What better way to observe unobtrusively than from the seat of my bicycle.

I ride on a daily basis, to visit a friend, stop by the market or pick something up at the pharmacy. It is both practical and spiritual. I must stay “in the moment” to avoid speeding taxis, less than friendly dogs, potholes and the never ending topes (speed bumps). It’s fun to ride a new street, nodding and greeting folks the way it is done all over Mexico, buenos días, or buenas tardes. Perhaps some day I will be as my friend Soco who has lived here all her life. It takes her twenty minutes to drive out of town on her way to work because she must wave, greet and sometimes stop and hug everyone she passes. What a lovely way to live.

Visiting the cemetary.

Visiting the cemetary.

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Kayaking Laguna Bacalar – Hawks, Bromeliads and Wild Orchids

6 Jul

By all reports, this summer has been windier than normal on Laguna Bacalar in Southern Mexico, resulting in a choppy lake and few trips out in my kayak. I have missed the quiet mornings of gliding along the mangroves feeling like an early explorer discovering a new world.

This week has provided the delightful surprise of waking to a flat, quiet laguna and I’ve been off in my little blue kayak.

Perfect kayaking conditions.

Perfect kayaking conditions.

The opposite shore is thick with beautiful mangroves. It takes me about 15 minutes to traverse the lake from our house. The endless rains of last fall made it easy to cut through the mangroves to explore the canals east of the laguna. This week I managed to travel south along the groves observing the large black and white hawks known as kites that are out in search of snails for breakfast.

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The cool mornings allow a private tour of the peaceful edge of the laguna. The mangroves are a haven to sea birds and air plants. Bromeliads and wild orchids cling to the branches waiting for the rainy season to begin in earnest.

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Wild orchids.

Wild orchids.

Today we had another sort of lake excursion planned. Our friends from Tulum were visiting for a weekend getaway, and Lisa arranged for a launch to take us out on the laguna for a day of swimming and picnic. We could not have picked a better day.

Heading out to enjoy the lake.

Heading out to enjoy the lake.

Our friends Hillary and Amir brought their boat around and picked us up for a four hour tour. Hillary’s mother and aunt follow my blog from Canada, so this shout-out is for them.

Greetings from Hillary in Bacalar.

Greetings from Hillary in Bacalar.

A fun day was had by all.

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World Cup Football – Just Don’t Call it Soccer

29 Jun

I began watching the World Cup four years ago and became enthralled with the passion, skill and enthusiasm of the game. Soccer as it is called in the US is right up there with watching paint dry for most Americans. There’s the endless running up and down and low score that keeps most people at the chips and quacamole in the kitchen instead of glued to the big screen.

The general feeling among the expats has been to cheer for Mexico, and Central and South America over Europe, Africa and Japan. Of course there’s also the US matches which have been nail biters as well.

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The locals have been quite curious and appreciative as we scream for Mexico. No beers required.

La Playita a great little restaurant for World Cup viewing.

La Playita a great little restaurant for World Cup viewing.

Today is a big game for Mexico which determines whether they advance or stall. EVERYONE in Mexico has plans as to where they will watch the game. A huge screen will be set up in town for mass viewing. Restaurants are advertising take away food so no one is stuck in the kitchen during the game. The energy is electric.

Hotel Bacalar provides food and a beautiful view.

Hotel Bacalar provides food and a beautiful view.

Futol (as opposed to American football) does not play to TV audiences. There are no breaks for advertisers that have paid millions for a 30 second piece of you. There is amazing skill, honed from childhood, beautiful muscular bodies that are every straight woman and gay man’s dream, amazing acting when bumped and tripped by the opposition, and even front page drama when one player has this weird proclivity for biting his opponent.

This week while making small talk with our new young doctor, Lisa asked him about futbol and his face lit up. There’s something about not referring to Mexico’s pride and joy as soccer that is greatly appreciated and shows respect.

So if you’ve never watched World Cup futbol (it only happens every four years), now’s your chance. At least catch the final match on July 13, 2pm CT. Go to a sports bar and pick a team and yell with the crowd and above all, don’t call it soccer.

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Adventure Begins When Something Goes Wrong

22 Jun

When living in Mexico, buying property and building a house, we are ducks out of water, way out. The best way to have things go wrong is to have expectations of how they should go in the first place. Try as we might to be open to surprises, we didn’t see this one coming.

Our house is being built in an ecologically sensitive area. New laws are being enforced and as with any bureaucracy, it’s a moving target. We were told that to avert paying for a very expensive study on our lot, we would have to remove fifteen “protected” palm trees. It mattered not that the trees were planted by the previous owner and that we had no intention of molesting them in the building process. We would have to remove the trees from the lot and replant them after the building permit is granted or pay as much as $6,000us. Huh?

Now try wrapping your brain around moving five 30 foot high royal palm trees.

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It was suggested that we give the trees to a vivero, landscaper, who would remove them for free and sell to a hotel in Cancun. NOT! Fade to me hugging trees and crying.

Six smaller "foot of elephant" palms that also had to be moved.

Six smaller “foot of elephant” palms that also had to be moved.

After having a conversation with Pedro, who does yard work for us, he assured us that, much to our amazement, the trees could be dug out by hand and moved and he knew other workers who would help with the endeavor.

I have never seen men work so hard in my life. They used picks, levers and ropes and achieved the impossible. Lisa’s truck was commandeered and a small front loader rented. The trees were removed and placed in a protected area so they will hopefully survive. We will then reverse the process to place them around our house to provide shade and beauty.

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Even Mexicans scratched their heads as we tried to explain what and why. We decided that it was an opportunity to landscape that we would never have taken otherwise. Hopefully this time next year I will be writing my blog from a back porch in paradise, under my rustling palms. Fingers crossed.

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Making Friends in Bacalar – It’s Not What We Expected

15 Jun

The foreign population in Bacalar is relatively small and varied. US-ers and Canadians make up the majority, but there are also a group of Mexicans from Mexico City who maintain a residency here. Throw in a handful of Europeans and several folks from South America and social gatherings are quite multi-lingual with everyone speaking whichever language they care to practice.

Not all of the expats are retired. There are young families and each new friend opens an opportunity to meet others and travel in a variety of social circles. Many people live here up to six months and return to their home country to work or enjoy a cooler climate than is the humid, rainy, Bacalar summer.

When Lisa and I decided on Mexico, we were clear that we wanted to make local friends and not simply socialize with English-speaking foreigners. We are finding that the lines blurr and it’s more about taking time and getting out, talking to everyone, not being afraid to make mistakes speaking Spanish and always making a point of greeting and saying goodbye to everyone.

Ladies vegan lunch - showing off our culinary talents.

Ladies vegan lunch – showing off our culinary talents.

A chance to know each other better.

A chance to know each other better.

Sunday pancake breakfast and more new friends.

Sunday pancake breakfast and more new friends.

Food is always a way to connect. We are also trying – watching soccer matches, playing cards and learning new skills. Can you tell that our calendar is filling up? Life in Bacalar is looking sweet.

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Finding The Blessing of God in Bacalar

8 Jun

One of our favorite aspects of life in Bacalar, Mexico is finding a basic, inexpensive, hole-in-the-wall restaurant, where the locals hang out and the food is good. One day we asked our juice lady in the mercado for a recommendation for breakfast and she pointed across the street to La Bendición de Dios (The Blessing of God).

Open for Sunday morning shoppers at the town market across the street.

Open for Sunday morning shoppers at the town market across the street.

There are no menus at this comida económica. Whatever has been prepared for the day is what is available, until they run out. Some places operate like a small cafeteria. Waiters lift the lids of several succulent dishes and you make your selection. Meals include beans and rice and sometimes a drink for a price lower than you could prepare it at home.

A quiet Sunday morning.

A quiet Sunday morning.

A great place to people watch.

A great place to people watch.

In this southern region of Mexico, the basic fast food is a taco, a catch-all for chalupas, tostadas, or gorditas. They can be served with different kinds of meat, fish, sea food or refried beans, and topped with avocado, shredded cabbage, onions, cheese and drizzled with crema, a sour cream popular in the area. Add your own salsa for some additional heat.

Homemade tortillas are the best.

Homemade tortillas are the best.

We are always welcomed by Aro our hard working waiter. He zips from table to table, always with a smile.

Our friendly mesero (waiter) Aro

Our friendly mesero (waiter) Aro

With Lisa’s coke and my fresh melon juice, our meal came to $6.50US or 85 pesos. We recommend La Bendición to our friends but have only see a few tourists frequent this great little eatery. The Blessing of God has been a blessing for us too.

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The Check Engine Light Must Be Obeyed

3 Jun

Leaving Austin, Texas last September required leaving far more than family and friends. It meant leaving all those pains-taking connections that took years to build…a hairdresser, plumber, electrician, and above all truck mechanic.

When the red blinky light came on in our precious Ford F150, it was hard not to panic. It’s not like the teeth cleaning or eye exams that we’ve been putting off. The check engine light must be obeyed.

Local expats suggested premium gas but it did nothing to help, so a notice went out on the Yahoo Listserve for a mechanic. Taking the only two we received into consideration, we made an appointment at Nani’s in Chetumal.

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We were told to expect to pay “more” but that they were the best, so off we went on a Torta adventure.

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Every experience is an opportunity to learn new words in Spanish and to stretch the brain in interesting ways.

Alex was there to explain and help.

Alex was there to explain and help.

We left our baby and headed off to the movies!

Loved the movie.

Two thumbs up on Maleficence.

After a long day and many filters changed, the truck runs as well as it ever has. A new resource has been made, yeah! Now for that dreaded call to a dentist.

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