Moving to a country that is not our origin takes effort that we did not always foresee. For almost twelve years we have attempted to make friends and create relationships. Some lessons learned –
- Traveling “home” to maintain relationships is not as easy as we thought, especially as we age.
- People/family do not visit. Travel these days is just not easy.
- Most of the people we met and socialized with in the early years of living in Bacalar have moved on. Aging in place has challenges we didn’t foresee.
- We’ve made friends with locals and treasure the connections. Barriers have lessened as our language skills have improved.
Another way we have built relationships is by showing up.
In the US, workers and managers don’t really mix, classism at its finest. Things are more muddled here. The economic disparity with the US allows us to hire help with cleaning and house maintenance. Workers take pride in their jobs and we pay them well.
This week we bumped into a friend who has been our massage therapist for many years. She said that her mother was dying and burst into tears. Two days later, our gardener asked for time off since his mother-in-law died. It was Lisa who put it together that they were related. We didn’t know!
We saw the surprise in peoples’ faces as we showed up to a backyard where a coffin sat to one side marked with candles and flowers. My grandmother taught me that when someone dies you show up, so we did.
The next day we attended the funeral mass.
It was the third funeral we’ve attended in Mexico. Having a coffin set up in your home is not something we’re used to in the US. In Bacalar, neighbors and family sit together, keeping vigil, telling stories, and eating. We did not stay long, but we showed up and contributed to the expense.
Attending funerals has made us a part of a world that is very different from ours. We did not expect that this is how we would connect. There will likely be many more in our future.
DOS TORTAS
the adventures of dos tortas 
Thanks for a thoughtful piece. Kindness costs nothing and you both were kind.
As much as I now hate what the USA has devolved into, I’m 78, not 38. I am aging in my paid for condo surrounded by other Democrats. Every year I have more doctors. So I stay, write postcards, attend protests, and try to pull myself out of being depressed on a daily basis. And wonder if I should be looking for something with the potential for more care later, although I have no use for it now. No blood family, just a family of choice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hang in there. Be happy. We have a RL zoom call Friday evenings.
LikeLike
I’m glad you attended. i’m sure it meant something to the family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Alex and Lisa,
Thank you – once again – for reminding me how to live…”you just show up” and you do and you did. Is this camelia’s mother? She texted me that her mom passed…we have been in touch…if not, it’s someone else and you were there…thank you for who you are and how you live your life. I wish I were there now…
We are in Boise – my youngest granddaughter graduated from high school and it was just grand: all family, even my first husband who has parkinson’s..so much love and celebration …
It’s late – but I’ve just seen your blog and I so love it every Sunday..love to you and Lisa and Alice xo Lorrie
Lorrie Jones
Simple Serenity
simpleserenity.comhttp://simpleserenity.com/
253.312.3117
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes Camelia’s mother.
LikeLike
oh my – thank you 💜💜
Get Outlook for iOShttps://aka.ms/o0ukef
LikeLike
It’s lovely that you attended to support the bereaved and show respect to the departed. A kind thing to do.
LikeLike
It’s a kind way to care for each other that is too often ignored. We will all be there someday.
LikeLike