I read recently that having a daughter adds years to your life. Having one who is a social worker by trade is undoubtedly another bonus.
While visiting California this summer, my eldest initiated the uncomfortable conversation, “Mom, what do you want at the end of your life?”. I, who am rarely at a loss for words didn’t have an answer. I guess somehow I imagined living into old age with my faculties in tact and one day just not waking up? Ha, a fantasy at best, although I imagine it could happen. Truth be told, I hadn’t imagined anything.
My daughter used to work in an emergency room where families brought in their elders after a fall, stroke or other catastrophic event. When asked how they and their loved one would like to proceed, she was met with blank stares. We are all woefully unprepared. There are so many things our society ignores. We will all be there someday. Best get on it. We need to have a plan, at least a conversation.
I have on occasion suggested books on Dos Tortas. One that addresses this sticky topic and should be required reading for everyone is, BEING MORTAL by Atul Gawande. Whether you need a framework to talk to a parent, family member or significant other, this is it. Do it now.
DOS TORTAS
the adventures of dos tortas 
Thank you Alex. Just put this on my reader. .
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I found the book hopeful and inspirational. Let me know what you think.
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So beautiful. Once I planned a playlist should I be comatose and on my way to the next stage of spirit, but I couldn’t decide on which music I love best. And I love the Ram Dass quote. Thank you. Your photos are pure love. Nancy
On Sun, Oct 10, 2021 at 7:49 AM the adventures of dos tortas wrote:
> afish25 posted: ” I read recently that having a daughter adds years to > your life. Having one who is a social worker by trade is undoubtedly > another bonus. 2015 While visiting California this summer, my eldest > initiated the uncomfortable conversation, “Mom, what do y” >
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We will be back in Austin for Lisa’s surgery on the 25th. Would love to see you.
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My experience with walking Dad home was difficult. He had no plans in place except financial plans. I was left asking him when he was in serious decline if he was ready to go and if he wanted me to take care of everything. I found out later that he probably would have preferred a burial to cremation. Even though, half the time, I didn’t know what I was doing, I did have some great advisers at the assisted living and with hospice. This was one of the many things I wished I had spoken with Dad about years before.
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Which is exactly the point of the book. None of us know what we’re doing. We learn the hard way and make peace with our decisions. Smart to get help.
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Great advice. Liam and I have an addendum to our wills which sets out how things should be.
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Sounds like you’ve had those conversations. And with your mother? I think it has to be an ongoing process. Things change. But you sound way ahead of the game.
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Good talk and important subject!
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Thanks for stopping by. I never know who reads my blog.
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