Tag Archives: getting old

I Give Up

23 Mar

I used to confidently declare in any medical appointment that I am here for a second opinion because MINE is the first! Like many influencers today, I had strong ideas and thought I knew it all. You can imagine that my attitude didn’t go over well.

I frequently refused antibiotics, routine dental X-rays, and assorted tests. Not this week however.

An X-ray machine the size of an old portable radio. Amazing! I used to work in radiology and the portable machines were six feet tall and weighed hundreds of pounds.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, am tired or just don’t care. My hands are in the air. I give up, I surrender, I quit.

I went to the dentist this week to get my teeth cleaned. Pretty routine right? I was told that I had multiple cavities and a molar that might need a root canal or to be extracted! WTF! I sat for an hour and got half the cavities filled. A few days later I saw an endodontist, young enough to be my granddaughter, to discover that I had an infected tooth and indeed needed a root canal, just not the tooth the dentist thought.

Root Canal

I again sat for over an hour with my nose, mouth and chin numb. The tooth that started all this may need to come out eventually but is ok for now. Sigh.

None of this makes any sense to me. I don’t drink soda or eat sweets. I have a fancy electric toothbrush that I use religiously. Is it the water? My soft bones? Hereditary? IDK but I quit.

Truthfully I no longer claim to know anything about anything. Technology is moving so quickly that it’s extremely hard to keep up. And I no longer want to.

DOS TORTAS

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Fall From Grace

8 Oct

My mother-in-law fell this week. To a degree I blame myself. Our car had been in the shop for ten days and we were beginning to run out of fresh food. Shopping list in hand, I called my taxi friend Franklin to meet us on the highway. Alice badly wanted to go and pick up some things, but mostly she was bored and wanted to get out of the house.

Christmas a few years ago.

The short walk from our house to meet the taxi required skirting puddles due to recent intermittent showers. Our road is made from layers of sascab or decomposed limestone which is slick as snot after the rain. I was doing my best to walk along the outer dry edge and expected Alice to follow me. I should have been holding onto her. Then I heard an oomph.

Falling is so hard, literally and figuratively. I should know, I’ve done it enough. My first thought was to take her home. Once on her feet, Alice vehemently declared herself to be “OK”. I knew better, but wanted to avoid an argument. She can be quiet stubborn and vocal about getting her way.

2017 Three hotties.

At the grocery store she insisted on carrying her own heavy groceries until I put my foot down. Still she insisted that she was fine. The next day told a different story.

Last April at a friend’s wedding. The many faces of Alice.

Alice didn’t break anything but there was definitely pain, bruising and regrets, both mine and hers. The end result, was an honest and vulnerable conversation about aging. Alice admitted to something we all experience, feeling younger and more capable than she is. She will be eighty in February. While some people are running marathons at eighty, Alice is not one of them. She is rather frail, as much as she prefers to believe otherwise.

We had a very honest talk. It is so easy to believe the messages that growing old equals worthlessness and being a burden. We begin to loose control as others make decisions for us, something no one likes.

Last summer’s gym rat.

Alice and I came to an agreement. When it comes to matters of health or injury, she will trust that Lisa and I have her best interest at heart. There will be no more arguments or fussing. This is a dance we all get to do. For me it’s important not to get scared but take one day at a time, keep the lines of communication open and most importantly, come from a place of love. We’ll all get through it together.

DOS TORTAS

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Have You Always Exercised?

30 Jul

This week, in an almost empty gym, a young woman ambled up and asked me in SPANISH, “have you always exercised?” She had blond hair and a braid down her back the width of my arm. She’s Colombian and has lived in Bacalar four years. I was thrilled by her question.

Nevys

I think many of the locals that work out at the gym think that I don’t speak Spanish, which is barrier number one to conversation. Barrier number two is that I don’t socialize. I’m not chatty, I tend to focus on my work-out, nose to the grindstone. And then there’s the biggest barrier, I’m old.

71 and not getting any younger.

I have worked on overcoming these barriers, except for the old part. There’s nothing much I can do about that. Research clearly shows that a contributing factor to longevity is having close personal relationships, right up there with diet and exercise. In Mexico it is thought rude not to greet everyone with, “buenos días” upon arrival. I make a habit of looking at people and greeting them every morning. There’s been little change in camaraderie however, until this week.

15 months progress. Slow but steady.

I know I’ve talked about this topic before. It is not easy for me but I’m determined. I asked the receptionist her name and now use it when I arrive each day and this week I made a new friend. I will attempt to nourish this seedling. Wish me luck.

DOS TORTAS

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Some People Don’t Live To Seventy

24 Jul

How on earth did I live to seventy? I remind myself frequently that many people don’t get here. You can read everyday in the news where people fall off mountains, piss off the wrong crazy, or just wind up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Living to seventy is definitely a blessing and a gift I don’t take lightly.

Michael on my right. My hand is on the surgical scar where his scull was cut open and stapled together again.

My brother didn’t make it. He had a damn brain tumor.

I do my best to not leave life up to chance. I eat salads, go to the gym and not live in…you know, Croatia, Panama, Sri Lanka, or the US.

On Thursday a rapid home test came back inconclusive.

I know death will catch up with me eventually. This week I had a fever and was certain I had Covid. It’s hard not to be paranoid these days when absolutely everyone I know, including my four year old granddaughters has it. Breathe, relax.

My negative test results.

I’m doing my best to be peaceful and live in the moment, and praying for everyone, including you.

DOS TORTAS

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A Fun Week? Not So Much

6 Dec

In 2017 I wrote a blog entitled Rocks In My Head. I had been having migraines which were completely out of the norm, and went to the doctor. After a series of tests (don’t doctors love tests) I underwent an EEG.

I was diagnosed with small calcium deposits (rocks?) which were thought to have been there a long time. The funny thing is, I haven’t had a migraine since (knock on wood).

I had to stay awake all night prior to this test! Fun.

That said, I have had dull headaches that I tend to medicate and/or ignore. Recently I was diagnosed with three bulging disks in my neck. They are probably due to a combination of scoliosis and osteoporosis and just plain getting older.

The source of my headaches? Mmmm.

Anyone who has gone to physical therapy knows that it hurts like hell in the beginning until you retrain particular body parts to behave in a different way, take the strain off the offending muscle or tendon. Exercises can stir things up and cause more pain in the beginning.

That is where I’m at this week. It didn’t help that Stela, my blind pug head butted me while jumping onto the couch. She hit my chin as I bent over to pick her up and put my teeth into my lip.

So innocent.

A long story to explain why I’m not feeling all that great. Y’all hold things up while I take a rest. Hopefully next week I will have some inspiration to share.

DOS TORTAS

It takes us all.

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Emilie Vardaman

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