In Memoriam

4 Feb

We got a message this week that  knew was coming, just not when. My niece died after a long battle with brain cancer. We were making plans to go see her when we got the message from my brother, “she’s gone”. She had contracted Covid but seemed better. Then when no one was looking she slipped away quietly. She was 46.

2016 There are no words.

I remember when she was born. My brother and sister-in- law had a son. I had a daughter and then they had Raegan. All three cousins were less than a year apart, each from the next. Raegan Mercedes was such a cool name.

1977 the day before Raegan was born. Her very pregnant mom on the left, assorted brothers, and my mother in the center. I am on the right. We were all so young.

To say she was smart was an understatement. A Doctorate in Human Factors Psychology.

The discipline of human factors is devoted to understanding how people interact with their environments and the products and objects in those environments.

Raegan had worked on systems to effectively integrate technology for the US military. She was our whiz kid and fascinating to talk to. Even as her vision deteriorated from the pressure of the tumor, she worked with the local county agency to give feedback on how to help people with visual disabilities navigate their transportation system. Our hearts break with the loss of her.

The last time Lisa and I got to hang out with Raegan was Thanksgiving 2022. We were in Florida with my brother, her dad and other family members. One afternoon we walked the few blocks to the highway where there was a large sex store.

Sadly they closed the end of 2023.

Only Raegan with her lesbian aunts would walk the store aisles laughing uncontrollably at enormous wobbly dildos, penis lollipops, edible underwear and a huge variety of vibrators. I smile at the memory (not of the dildos).

With Captain Jack
Animals helped her so much.

There is so much more I could say, but it all makes me sad. Hug each other, be kind to strangers, take care of yourself, laugh and hug puppies. Especially puppies, and goats, and pigs, for Raegan.

DOS TORTAS

31 Responses to “In Memoriam”

  1. Amy Lifton's avatar
    Amy Lifton February 4, 2024 at 8:57 am #

    I’m so sorry for your loss – she sounds like an extraordinary person! May her memory be a blessing to you and everyone who knew and loved her. Hugs, Amy

    Liked by 2 people

    • afish25's avatar
      afish25 February 4, 2024 at 9:26 am #

      Thanks Amy. She will be missed.

      Like

  2. Mary Durocher Hudson's avatar
    Mary Durocher Hudson February 4, 2024 at 9:32 am #

    Wonderfully written.
    My sympathy and prayers.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Blessings!
    Mary

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Karen Hodgens's avatar
    Karen Hodgens February 4, 2024 at 10:09 am #

    I’m very sorry to hear this–she was far too young. Blessed Be.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Karen's avatar
    Karen February 4, 2024 at 12:23 pm #

    Blessings for your beautiful niece! I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Christie davey's avatar
    Christie davey February 4, 2024 at 12:47 pm #

    Such a beautiful tribute to a “sunshine” girl..sadness and joy at being part of her life from another aunt, Christie

    Liked by 2 people

  6. midwife87505's avatar
    midwife87505 February 4, 2024 at 2:23 pm #

    So sorry for your grief. May her memory be a blessing and bring comfort to you and all of Raegan’s loved ones.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. LJones's avatar
    LJones February 4, 2024 at 2:40 pm #

    Oh my – what a beautiful person…I’m so sorry, Alex (and Lisa and Alice) for your loss. She looks amazing and I will be sure to hug animals a bit more than usual in memory of her. All my love to you all xoxo

    Lorrie Jones Simple Serenity simpleserenity.comhttp://simpleserenity.com/ 253.312.3117

    Liked by 2 people

  8. EmilySmith's avatar
    emilys72016 February 4, 2024 at 3:40 pm #

    A beautiful tribute to your beloved niece Raegan. I’m so sorry to hear this news.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Joel Grieshaber's avatar
    Joel Grieshaber February 4, 2024 at 4:12 pm #

    Alex,
    Please have Tom contact me. I’m so sorry for the loss of his and Candice’s daughter!
    And the loss of your neice.
    My email is jgflynow@yahoo.com.

    Thanks, Joel (in NM)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Darlene Bajor's avatar
    Darlene Bajor February 4, 2024 at 8:58 pm #

    The Bajor family is heart broken. She was an amazing woman a ray of light in every one who knew her life. 💔💔

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Jack Scott's avatar
    Jack Scott February 5, 2024 at 5:04 am #

    So sorry to hear about your loss – incredibly sad. But what wonderful memories you have. Something to hold on to.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. CA's avatar
    CA February 5, 2024 at 12:31 pm #

    I’m really sorry to hear this. You’ve written a lovely tribute.

    Liked by 2 people

    • afish25's avatar
      afish25 February 5, 2024 at 12:56 pm #

      Thank you. How do we know each other?

      Like

      • CA's avatar
        CA February 5, 2024 at 3:02 pm #

        We don’t – I’ve been following your blog for a little while and I wanted to express my sympathy. I had a loss last year, I know it’s hard.

        Liked by 1 person

      • afish25's avatar
        afish25 February 5, 2024 at 3:59 pm #

        Always nice to meet a new friend.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Emilie's avatar
    Emilie February 7, 2024 at 5:20 pm #

    I’m so very sorry. It is even more terrible a loss when the person is so young. She sounds remarkable.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Kim Leslie's avatar
    Kim Leslie February 8, 2024 at 2:28 pm #

    Sorry for your loss

    Liked by 2 people

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  1. Life Goes On | the adventures of dos tortas - February 11, 2024

    […] my mother-in-law fell and dislocated her wrist, then Lisa and I got Covid and last week my dear niece died after battling brain […]

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