The Fine Art of Not Complaining

2 Aug

I’ve been pondering the line between talking about a thing and complaining about a thing. How to tell the difference?

Blooming in our yard.

This week I’ve been writing a lot of blogs in my head, but none of them seemed to settle into my bones. It’s been one of those weeks, hot temperatures, body aches and not sleeping. It’s left me lethargic and cranky. Last night going to bed I was crying, sad after having read stories about people who died this week from Covid. Lisa asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t talk about it. An explanation would have required a thought process. I was immersed in my feelings and didn’t want to put them in words. She patted my shoulder and we went to sleep, at least she did.

Sunrise on Laguna Bacalar

The night was a swirl of thoughts. Sometimes I feel like my dogs doing zoomies around the couch. My brain jumps from subject to subject and sleep eludes me. I was then up way too early when the dogs wanted to go out. As Lisa appeared from the bedroom I announced that I was heading back to bed, something I don’t think I’ve ever done. She began to ask me what was wrong but caught herself. That woman is a quick study.

My mother in law’s cat. Gato

Back to the topic at hand, how to talk about my thoughts and feelings without complaining. For me, factors include:

Tone – if I find my voice getting whiney or high pitched, I am surely complaining. Even in my head.

Intention – If I’m wanting sympathy, I am complaining.

Responsibility – if I’m trying to avoid taking responsibility, I’m complaining.

I guess I have two choices, 1) come up with a solution or 2) live with the situation. Complaining has never made me happy. Sometimes other people have good ideas but I find that I have to be in the right place to hear them. I do have one thing that seems to help no matter what the problem, exercise!

Daily swimming in Laguna Bacalar.

If I feel cranky, am not sleeping, or have body aches, I know I must exercise more. Sometimes it feels counterintuitive. It would be so easy to tell myself that I need more rest, but that’s almost never the case.

How do you handle the swirling thoughts or lack of sleep? Until next week.


6 Responses to “The Fine Art of Not Complaining”

  1. Deborah S. August 2, 2020 at 4:21 pm #

    I envy you the ability to exercise! We’ve just returned to Canada and are in complete quarantine for two weeks. We sit on our balcony and breathe in sea air, but go nowhere. This too shall pass…


    • afish25 August 2, 2020 at 6:07 pm #

      Tru dat. There are ways. You’ll figure it out.


  2. Jack Scott August 3, 2020 at 4:04 am #

    Thankfully we both sleep well even with the dawn chorus! It doesn’t stop me shouting at the TV, though, when I think someone is talking rubbish!


    • afish25 August 3, 2020 at 6:31 am #

      You must do a lot of shouting. Seems to me it’s all rubbish.


  3. Emilie August 6, 2020 at 1:14 pm #

    Swirling thoughts. I can’t get rid of him. The only way to do it is to take enough Benadryl for Xanax that I go to sleep. But I don’t like to do that. About once a week out of desperation I do. The rest of the week I sleep somewhere between four and six hours nightly. I’m chronically exhausted. And I’m not complaining, I’m simply telling you what it is. But I could complain about it. Boy, could I complain!


    • afish25 August 6, 2020 at 1:17 pm #

      I understand. I find intermittent symptoms are the worst and so frustrating.


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