I’m Not A Hugger

22 May

I distinctly remember the first time I saw my oldest brother hug my father. We were not a demonstrative family and I bolted upright in surprise. There were few hugs or I love you’s after about ten years old. While the embrace shook my world, it was the 70’s and I chalked it up to the times.


My youngest brother on the left, died of brain cancer in 2000. Oldest (of 4) on right.

Fast forward many years and I now live in Mexico, the land of huggers. It is not uncommon to be introduced to a stranger and have them embrace you and plant a kiss on your cheek. BTW, you are now family.


Alice living the good life in Mexico.

Speaking of family, I have been adjusting to life with my mother-in-law Alice who moved to Bacalar in December. She has also been adjusting to life with me. Not only does hugging not come naturally, nor does “please, thank you or I’m sorry”. I was raised a Yankee and I can be bristley, a lot;  in other words, I’m a pain in the ass.


Visiting Palenque.

I am also teachable. I’ve asked Lisa to point out a missed opportunity to be softer, gentler, kinder. That goes for all of you too my friends. A hug or a kick in the pants can sometimes be the same thing. DOS TORTAS



11 Responses to “I’m Not A Hugger”

  1. Teresa May 22, 2016 at 9:56 am #

    I look forward to your blog every Sunday!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. smcghee333 May 22, 2016 at 10:32 am #

    So true….a hug or a kick in the pants can be the same thing. Thanks!


    • afish25 May 22, 2016 at 11:42 am #

      Thank God I have so many who love me.


  3. Karen Hodgens May 22, 2016 at 10:33 am #

    There wasn’t much hugging going on in my house either. Too many dynamics to talk about here in a house with my at-war parents living with my paternal grandparents. Hugging did not happen between girlfriends all the way through high school. The first time a girlfriend hugged me I was probably 23 and had moved to Virginia from Maryland. I liked it and I wanted more of it. And then there was Lifespring in 1979 and from then on I considered myself to be a hugger. Maybe it was being in an environment where surrender was the name of the game. It filled my soul with something that was missing. I’ve been told many times that I give good hugs and that’s because I surrender to the process. I see it as an energy transfer. And I’ve hugged many “tree people” in my day (stiff, scared, resistant). And I’ve been hugged by men that left me feeling slimed–the ones that want something. Bad juju. Lots of dynamics still. 🙂 Anyway, good for you Alex that you’re talking about it. xoxo and a long-distance hug to you and yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25 May 22, 2016 at 11:40 am #

      Mexico has turned me into a hugger. When in the States I find myself hugging people as they look at me strangely. It’s fun. I’m different. Let’s grow!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LJones May 22, 2016 at 11:03 am #

    As you know, I love your blog, Alex. Next to your great photos and choices of what to feature, I love your honesty the most. I hope everyone in the world reads the part, in this blog, about being willing to learn – AND following up with asking another soul to point out missed opportunities (in other words, chances to learn in the moment). This post touched me deeply. I wish we all could be as open and willing to change our ways as you are, Alex. Off to Amsterdam for my son’s wedding to his partner, Luc. See you later this summer!


  5. emilievardaman May 22, 2016 at 11:56 am #

    Over the years, I’ve become a hugger, so I fit right in when I am in Mexico. Glad you’re learning!

    Liked by 1 person

    • afish25 May 22, 2016 at 11:59 am #

      It’s been a good problem to have. I’m less willing to hold onto old scarey beliefs. Hugging is the best.


  6. Kate Dana May 30, 2016 at 8:41 am #

    Hola from Colombia, also a land of hugs and cheek-kisses. Your blog is wonderful and inspiring! Thanks for keeping it simple and real. Looking forward to more posts. ¡Abrazos!


    • afish25 May 30, 2016 at 10:29 am #

      Hola KD, welcome. Thanks for your comment. I love Columbia. Beautiful country.


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